


Dial Tone

by firenxe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Drarry, M/M, Texting, non-magic au, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2018-03-17 19:05:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3540617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firenxe/pseuds/firenxe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Potter decides to text the number on his arm. Draco Malfoy finds himself woken up by messages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Key: Harry -  _Draco_ -  Pansy \- _Blaise_ \- **Ron**

Saturday AM

[7:32] Hey, uh, is this Cho? It's Harry from last night. Um, you might remember my friend, Ron, the really loud ginger one.   
[7:32] I think he stepped on your foot a few times when he was trying to dance?  
[7:33] Gods, I shouldn't have mentioned that. Sorry.  
[7:33] Anyways, your number was on my arm.

[7:42] _Ron sounds like quite the charmer. _

[7:44] Um. 

[7:45] _This isn't Cho, so I'm sorry to say it but Harry, it appears she gave you the wrong number. _

[7:46] Oh, shit. 

[7:48] _I would say I'm sure you're a fine guy, but I really don't know. _

[7:48] I AM a fine guy. 

[7:51] _Again, I wouldn't know, but the fact that a girl gave you my number instead of her own sort of speaks volumes. _

[7:51] I.  
[7:51] Wait, I'm sorry for bothering you. 

[7:52] _That's alright.  
_ [7:53] _It's very early though. _

[7:54] Oh, shit, yeah. I didn't even notice. Sorry. 

[7:57] _You don't have to keep apologizing. I'd have been getting up in an hour anyways. _

[7:58] Oh, um, good! Sorry again, I'll leave you be while I tend to my hurt pride. 

[7:59]  _You're not even going to tell me what you did to make her ditch you? _

[7:59] Why... would I?

[8:04] _I'm curious now. _

[8:04] Well, she didn't ditch me! She just uh

[8:05] _Avoided future contact? _

[8:05] Fuck off.  
[8:07] Sorry that uncalled for.   
[8:08] Wait, I don't know you. I don't think it matters much, actually. 

[8:09] _Really? I thought our no-cussing bond was incredibly strong. _

[8:10] What? A no-cussing bond?   
[8:10] I thought we were just two 80 year olds with a strong moral guide!

[8:12]  _Ah, I see, Cho was a mysterious, wheeled lady at Senior Day. _

[8:12] Yep, I think I found the one.

[8:14] _The one that got away, mind you. And considering the wheelchair and all... _ _  I'm impressed at how hard she must've tried._

[8:14] If you want tips, just ask. 

[8:14] _No, thank you. Kind offer though._  
[8:15] _You do owe me at least the story, waking me up at 7:30am on a Saturday like you did._

[8:16] Why do you want to know?

[8:19] _Like i said,_ _it's early on a Saturday and what else is there for me to do?_

[8:20] Ok, ok. Point taken.  
[8:20] To be honest  
[8:21] I really don't know. I don't remember... very well.

[8:22] _All a bit fuzzy?_

[8:23] Yes. Hah.  
[8:23]  It was game night; I'm allowed.

[8:25] _Game night? Wait, don't tell me._  
[8:26] _You must be a football player._  
[8:26]  _Oi, you ready for the big game, mate? _

[8:26] I'm extremely offended. 

[8:27] _It's said with love._  
[8:27]  _Maybe._  

[8:28] So ambiguous.  
[8:29] And I've never said "oi you ready for the big game mate" once in my life, thank you very much.   
[8:29] I'm cool. Smooth. 

[8:32] _Cho disagrees_. 

[8:33] Sod off. 

[8:35] _I don't see how she could withstand your stunning eloquence. I guess it will remain a mystery to us all._

[8:35] Of all numbers I get a sarcastic arsehole. I'm a catch!

[8:35] _Of course, of course. I wasn't doubting you._

[8:36] I have a headache. Is that something you find all your conversational partners have in common after speaking with you?

[8:37] _No, usually just a charmed blush._

[8:37] Heavy nausea?

[8:37] _A raging hard on._

[8:38] Oh, Not-Cho, how'd you know? ;)

[8:39] _Like I said, you're not the first._

[8:40] Christ, I'm honestly going to sleep now.

[8:42] _Then, sleep._

[8:44] I AM. 

[8:46] _Impressive sleep-texting abilities._

[8:47] Let me sleep.

[8:47] _Stop messaging._

[8:48] Stop answering. 

- 

[8:45] _I'm here._  
[8:45] _Draco?_  
[8:46] _Answer me you arse._  
[8:47] _You're holding your phone. Honestly, I can see you through the window._  
[8:48]  _Whatever._

[8:49] _Oh, sorry, Blaise._  
[8:49] _One second._

[8:49 ] _What were you doing?_

[8:50] _Some bloke texted the wrong number. I'm coming out now, just grabbing my jacket._

[8:51] _Why were you laughing?_

[8:51] _He thought I was a chick he got with last night._

[8:52] _Poor bastard. You have the worst bedside manners._

[8:52] _Fuck you._

[8:52] _Not with that attitude._

- 

Saturday PM 

[1:12] Good morning, sunshine! The earth says hello!

[1:13]  _Are you really just waking up?_

[1:15] ...Maybe.

[1:16] _It's past 1._

[1:17] I had a hangover alright? My sleeping habits aren't usually this fucked. 

[1:17] _Oh good, that really takes some weight off my shoulders. I was worried._  
[1:18] _No offense, Harry, but why are you still texting me?_

[1:18] Why were you worried?

[1:19]  _I was kidding. I'm not insane._

[1:20] Oh, haha. To answer your question I'm trapped in my room. 

[1:22] . _..?_  
[1:25]  _Why?_

[1:26] You know the Ron I mentioned?

[1:28] _Stepping-on-Cho's-Feet ginger Ron?_

[1:31] Yes, well, I live with him. It's a long story, yada yada, but he has a rather large family and they're currently in a rather large row I'm not intent on joining. 

[1:32]  _What about?_

[1:34] I think his younger sister snuck out last night. I'm not totally sure, I put my earbuds in a while ago. It sounds like something she would do, though. 

[1:35]  _How'd it become a family row?_

[1:38] A few brothers are backing her, the others are backing her mum. I think Ron's against her, though. 

[1:42]  _Overprotective brother complex?_

[1:43] Seems so. 

[1:45]  _I've got a new appreciation for being an only child._  


[1:47] I would say the same, but this family's basically mine now, in every way but blood. I'm making them seem terrible, but I'll blame it on the hangover. 

[1:48]  _How big is this family?_

[1:50] Oh, you know, mum, dad, 1 girl, and 6 boys. 7 counting me. 

[1:53] _What the absolute fuck._    
[1:53]  _How loud is it over there?_

[1:55] Well the oldest three are in college or graduated. 

[1:56]  _There's five kids in your household?_

[1:56] Yes. 

[1:58]  _Bloody hell._  
[1:59] _Sounds...fun?_

[2:01] It actually is usually, but not so much with a migraine. 

[2:04]  _How is Ron up for a row, then? I assume he drank a decent amount, else I would say by the way you described his behavior last night that he was questionable company._

[2:06] Oh, yes, he was plastered. Drank more than me, in fact. 

[2:09] _So, you're a lightweight._

[2:10] No! And Ron just managed to down near a gallon of water before bed. I'm always too exhausted.  
[2:11] He wants to go out again tonight, the arse.

[2:13]  _Good luck._

[2:14] No chance in hell I'm going, no thank you, sir. 

[2:17]  _You assume I'm a sir?_

[2:18] Oh.   
[2:19] Sorry, no, just using it as a phrase more of. Though now you mention it, I guess I did?  
[2:19] In an unconscious sort of way.  
[2:20] I'm sorry I didn't mean to assume...

[2:22]  _No, it's ok._  
[2:23]  _Um, well yes I am._    
[2:23]  _A guy._  
[2:24]  _Haven't been knighted yet to get the 'sir,' but there's always time._

[2:26] Ahaha  
[2:29] Oh! I'm a guy, too. 

[2:31] _I figured with your name being Harry._

[2:32] Oh, yeah.  
[2:32] But it could be short for something. Harriet?  
[2:34] Harriot's decently common, and I think most of them shorten it to Harry.

[2:35]  _Point taken, but_ _Harold's more likely._    
[2:36] _I think I met a Haribo once._

[2:39] You think I'm named after those gummy bears.

[2:40]  _Shit, that is the company's name, isn't it._  
[2:42]  _Well, I'm just pointing out that you could be. You are a strange kid on my phone, who knows what else could be weird about you._

[2:45] Is this how you talk to someone in the morning?

[2:47]  _You can't call this morning without being sarcastic._

[2:48] :(  
[2:49] Holy fuck it's almost 3PM?

[2:52]  _Yes. Yes it is.  
_ [2:55] _I'm sorry to be the one telling you._

[2:56] No you're not. This is the last time you hurt me.

[2:56]  _What?_

[2:57] After all I've done for you! For us!

[2:58]  _Oh._  
[2:58]  _Oh no_.

[3:00] For our children!

[3:03] _Are you a drama kid as well as as a sports kid?_  


[3:05] No, that's enough from you!  
[3:09] Are you listening you ungrateful ponce?  
[3:12] Ridiculous.   
[3:15] Not-Cho?  
[3:17] ...  
[3:22] I want a divorce. 

- 

[3:02] Ron  
[3:03] Ron, I need help with History, let Ginny be. 

[3:05]  **Harry, she went and saw DEAN until 3am!**

[3:06] We were out until 2, what's the big deal?

[3:08]  **Bloody hell, Harry, do you forget how insufferable she was when that ended. Or while it was going on.**  
[3:09]  **Or that whole shit period of them "just talking."**  
[3:10] **I'm trying to save us all some pain here.**

[3:12] Ron, do you honestly think she's going to stop because you said so? Are we even talking about the same Ginny?

[3:16]  **Piss off, Harry.**

[3:17] If you help me with History, I'll do your Chemistry all this week. 

[3:21]  **Fuck, fine.**  
[3:21]  **Deal.**

- 

_[IMAGE SENT TO HARRY]_

[4:04] Holy shit  
[4:04] That's got to be the best picture of me I've ever seen. 

[4:07]  _They sold them at the shop I was in and I haven't had them in years, so I thought I'd give you a go._

[4:08] Kind of you to think of me.   
[4:10] "Give me a go"

[4:12]  _If you're repeating my words with a different implication, I'm not listening._

[4:13] I wouldn't imagine it.   
[4:14]  How do I taste?

[4:15]  _Christ, and you're pointing out MY innuendos._

[4:17] Oh, piss off.

[4:20]  _Hahaha_  
[4:20]  _The Haribo gummy bears?_

[4:23] Yes, how do my candy counterparts taste?

[4:24]  _Pretty stale._  

[4:26] Oh how you flatter me.

[4:27]  _:P_

[4:27] Don't pull that face. 

[4:28]  _:^P_  
[4:30]  _I don't like them much, I'm sorry. I think I might even prefer the actual you over the candy you._

[4:31] For some reason that doesn't sound like a compliment 

[4:33]  _Hm._  
[4:34]  _I welcome you to take it as one, if you'd like?_

[4:37] Cheeky.  
[4:38]  No thanks, I'm still feeling the pain of your gummy bear hate. 

[4:41]  _They're not terrible?_

[4:43] Just give me some time to recover. 

[4:44]  _Ok._

[4:58] Is that your nail polish?

[5:01] _I thought you were recovering?_

[5:03] Still am.

[5:05]  _Yeah. _It's only the thumb nails._ My friend had our school colours and she offered. _  
[5:06]  _Well, if you knew her, "demanded" would be the better word._  
[5:07]  _I tend to just go along with it because I'll save more energy and face by humouring her._

[5:11] It's a good colour.  
[5:14] Okay I'm back to recovering now.

[5:16]  _Have fun._

-

[5:19] _Where are you?_

[5:22]  _You kidding?_

[5:23] _Uh..._  
[5:23]  _No?_

[5:25]  _I just left a minute ago to meet Pansy... You were going to grab us a table... Any of this ring a bell?_

[5:26]  _Ah, right! Sorry._  
[5:31]  _I got us a table._

[5:33]  _What, already?_

[5:34]  _My dad knows the owners._

[5:36]  _Of course. I got Pans and we're heading back, give us a few._

[5:37]  _Alright._

[5:39]  _Why'd you take a picture of those sweets earlier?_

[5:40]  _It was relevant in a conversation._

[5:43]  _Draco, we're quite literally your only friends._

[5:48]  _It wasn't a friend._  
[5:49] _I'd say.. a very unorthodox acquaintance? It made sense in context._  
[5:56]  _Oh, I see you at the front desk. I'm past the bar, right next to the pillar._ 

-

Sunday AM 

[1:24] What's your name?

[1:26]  _It's 1:30am._

[1:27] Oh.  
[1:27] Shit.  
[1:28] Shit, I'm sorry, did I wake you?

[1:30]  _No, it's alright, I wasn't sleeping._

[1:30] Party animal.

[1:31]  _I could stay the same about you._  
[1:32]  _I thought you were putting your foot down about tonight?_

[1:34] So did I.  
[1:35] Ron can be pretty persistent.  
[1:35] Except it's not even fun because I'm the DD.

[1:37]  _Am I your entertainment for the night then?_

[1:39] My entertainment, oh you sly dog.

[1:39]  _Do you want to survive this party without company?_

[1:41] Uuuuufgh.  
[1:41] Fine, I guess not.   
[1:42] Am I distracting you from your... whatever?

[1:46]  _Just my roommate, my friend, and me. One managed to sneak in beer somehow, we're not really sure how she does it but we're grateful._  
[1:47]  _They're talking about a class I'm not in right now, so you're fine._

[1:48] Oh, I didn't know you were in university.

[1:48]  _I'm not?_

[1:49] Roommate?

[1:49]  _Oh, I go to a boarding school._

[1:51] How bloody posh.

[1:51]  _Truly._

[1:52] Matching uniforms at all that shit?

[1:54]  _Yeah._  
[1:54] _I know._

[1:56] Always liked the jumpers though. 

[1:57]  _Hah, I didn't peg your type as schoolgirl._

[1:58] I'm offended, maybe I just fancy the sweaters.

[1:58]  _Point taken. I hope you're happy together._

[1:59] Happy and warm!  
[2:01] Are you allowed to be up so late at boarding school? Isn't there a curfew?

[2:03] _The combination of this being my final year and having an intimidating father generally works in my favor._  
[2:04] _They don't usually catch my friend going back to her room, which helps._

[2:06] Gotcha. I wasn't sure if it was a movie thing or not.

[2:07] _Nope._  
[2:08]  _I expect you're at a public school?_

[2:11] Yep, I like it well enough. Some arseholes here, but I suppose they're everywhere. Lots of sagging trousers I'd rather avoid but can't. 

[2:13]  _Ah, the blessings of uniforms, don't have to see someone's Abercrombie & Fitch boxers._

[2:13] I'd transfer just for that, thank you. 

[2:14]  _Is it really that terrible? Even if they're properly washed?_

[2:15] Hah, if the bloke's trousers are falling off he's never the one with the clean pants. 

[2:17]  _I'll take your word for it, Haribo._

[2:21] Wait! YOU DIDNT ANSWER MY QUESTION.

[2:21]  _??_

[2:23] Your name. Why'd you purposefully change the subject?

[2:24]  _Maybe it changed on its own. Conversational progression and all that jazz._

[2:26] So you're saying you changed the subject to avoid telling me your name. 

[2:27]  _That's exactly the opposite of what I said, and I admit to no such thing. _

[2:27] Suuuuure.

[2:28]  _Besides, what's it to you?_

[2:29] A name.  
[2:31] I'm not building you a shrine or some shit. Just want a name for your contact. 

[2:33]  _Put in "god."_

[2:34] If you're gonna be like that I'll put in "princess."

[2:36]  _Excuse you, I'd be a queen._

[2:37] The queen, still in prep school. 

[2:40]  _Last year of prep school, nearly an adult, and ready to run the country._  
[2:41]  _Don't be too impressed, Harry._

[3:02] Sorry, I was driving home.   
[3:03] And I won't be.   
[3:03] Now you're mocking me with your knowledge of my name, you ponce. 

[3:04]  _I told you, it's ridiculous._

[3:05] Well, it's better than Not-Cho.

[3:06]  _Someone named Not-Cho is crying because of you saying that._

[3:08] I'm sorry, all the Not-Cho's of the world.

[3:10]  _I'd expect them not to forgive you._

[3:11] But it was such a sincere apology. 

[3:11]  _Mhm._

[3:13] Can't please 'em all. Look I promise I won't find it too, too strange, my uncles have weird names as well.  
[3:16] Not-Cho? 

[3:17] HELLO  
[3:17] WHO IS THIS

[3:17] Uh? Harry.

[3:18] OOOOOH  
[3:19] WHAT YOU DOING TALKIG TO DRACO?

[3:19] Draco?  
[3:19] Oh

[3:19] OH MY GODS HES MAD AHA  
[3:20] WAS HE NOT TELLING YOU HIS NAME HOW FUNNY  
[3:20] FUCKI GPRECIOUS AINT HE  
[3:21] IM PANSY BY THE WAY NICE TO MEET YOU IM DRUNK

[3:21] Nice to meet you too, Pansy.  
[3:21] Where is Draco, by the way?

[3:22] OH BLAISE IS HOLDING HIM DOWN

[3:22] ...I see.  
[3:23]  I would think he wouldn't want you to be doing this?

[3:23] HAHA YEAH HES MAD HE HATES ME TOUCHING HIS PHONE HIS FACE IS ALL CROSS AND HES CURSING A BIT  
[3:23] BUT HE WAS ALL DISTRACTED HE WASNT EVEN PARTICIPATIN G IN OUR GLORIOUS CONVO  
[3:23] SO HERE WE END UP  
[3:24] THIUGH HE NEVER HAS ANYONE INTERESTING ON THIS OTHER THAN YOURS TRULY   
[3:24] YOURE A PLEASANT SURPRISE

[3:24] Thank you

[3:25] DONT WORRY ABOUT IT MATE  
[3:25] DID YA KNOW HE WAIT SHIT HE GOT OUT FUCK YOU BLAISE  BYE HARRT

[3:27] Uh yeah bye nice meeting you, Pansy  
[3:30] !

-

[3:45]  _I'm mortified._  
[3:45]  _She's left, I'm sorry._    
[3:45]  _Usually people have a bit of warning before meeting drunk Pansy._

[3:47] Draco

[3:47] _Yeah?_  
[3:49]  _Oh..._  
[3:49]  _Don't make fun._

[3:50] No! I'm not! I like it.

[3:51] _Pft. Thanks._  
[3:53]  _My parents are absurd._

[3:55] You sound like an old-fashioned villain.

[3:55] _Yes, watch out Harry, I've been working on my evil laugh._

[3:56] Harry vs. Draco.  
[3:57] Would've been the fight of the century if Draco could ever compete with Harry's incredible strength and physique. 

[3:57]  _Everyone loves an underdog._

[3:58] Luckily for you, I pity dropped out.

[3:59] _Wow, you've sure got the hero complex down. That was quick work._

[4:00] I would act offended if I hadn't heard that before. 

[4:03]  _"Oh Super Harry, please help me stand up to the big kids who stole my lunch money!"_  
[4:04]  _"Oh Haribo-Hulk, defend the city from the terraforming alien spaceships!"_  
[4:05]   _"Oh my one and only, slay the dragon and rescue me from my tall tower!" _

[4:05] Only if you're wearing a pretty dress. 

[4:07] _I've got the cute heels to go with it._  
[4:08]  _I'd object to being just someone for you to rescue in this scenario if I didn't look so goddamn good. _

[4:10] I'm in my armor and on my way. 

[4:10]  _I'm swooning, Harry._

[4:11] Can you chill out that dragon, though? This sword is new and I want to keep it shiny. 

[4:11]  _Lazy, lazy._

[4:12] I don't deny that. I'm going to climb that damn tower for you, that's enough effort. 

[4:14]  _I disagree, but I don't think you'll change your mind._

[4:15] You know me so well, Draco. 

[4:17] _You're easy to figure out so far._  
[4:18] _Alright, I'm going to sleep._

[4:19] What the fuck, no you can't. 

[4:21] _I don't think you're very much able to stop me._

[4:22] I'll text you every minute and your phone will keep you up. 

[4:22] _I am able to turn my phone off, you know._

[4:23] Damn, fine.   
[4:24] Tell Pansy and Blaise thank you for letting me find out your name. 

[4:25] _They were absolutely pissed, I'm not sure they'll remember, but alright._

[4:25] Wait, tell me Blaise is huge.

[4:26] _What? Not really??_

[4:28] A drunk, normal-sized bloke was able to pin you for over 5 minutes.

[4:29] _..._  
[4:30]  _Shut up_

[4:31] Hahahah

[4:32]  _Ok, so, my eyes are shutting on their own accord now. _

[4:33] Oi Snake Boy

[4:33] _Do. Not._  

[4:35] Good night, Draco. 

[4:35]  _Fuck you, Harry._


	2. Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Key: Harry - _Draco_ \- **Ron**  - _**Hermione -**  _Pansy _- Blaise_

Wednesday AM

[7:32] **Harry, at least turn down your darkness if you're going to be on your phone.  
** [7:32]  **Even Slughorn will notice eventually.**

[7:34] He put a movie on!

[7:35] **Yeah, mate, but you should still kinda hide the fact that you're not watching.**

[7:35] Ok, I turned it down.   
[7:36] Can you still tell?

[7:37] **No, I can't see** you.  
[7:38] **Oh,** **so me and Hermione were planning on going to the cinema after school...**

[7:39] … and you want me to drive you to your date. 

[7:40] **We share a car! I don't want you to, I kinda need you to.  
** [7:41] **Unless we go back to the Burrow and drop you off and then go.**

[7:43] It's fine, I'll convince Seamus or someone to give me a ride, you can take the car. 

[7:43] **Brilliant! Thanks.**

[7:44] Just don't wreck it. 

[7:46] **Me!? Who jumped when his phone went off and almost drove us off the road this morning!? I thought I was a goner. Hermione would've killed you.**

[7:47] I'll remember to try and not murder you, only to avoid her wrath. 

[7:47] **Good, thanks for that.  
** [7:48] **Was it still that text bloke?**

[7:50] In the car? No, it was Luna, she was showing me her Arts project.   
[7:51] His name's Draco.  
[7:51] The “text bloke.”

[7:53] **Draco? Honestly?  
** [7:53] **That’s his actual, given name.**

[7:54] Yeah. 

[7:54] **Blimey, poor guy's parents must be mental.**

[7:56] He says they are, but they've also got weird names, so maybe it runs in the family. 

[7:58] **You've got Sirius and Remus as uncles, but you're named Harry.**

[7:59] No blood relation. 

[8:00] **Odd names run through blood, hm? What about Hermione?**

[8:01] My hypothesis isn’t completely flawless.

[8:02] **“Hypothesis,” christ, are you trying to learn something in this class?**

[8:02] I think I just saw the extremely large poster on the door. 

[8:03] **Seems more likely.  
** [8:03] **Hey, maybe he's a catfish, with name like that.**

[8:04] Draco?

[8:05] **Yeah, yeah. You check?**

[8:07] How would I check? And like you said, I've got Sirius and Remus, I don't find weird names as uncommon as most, I suppose.  
[8:08] Besides, wouldn’t catfishes choose more inconspicuous names? 

[8:10] **That's true, and I don't know how you would check. I'm just saying it's a bit odd how much he’s been talking to you over the last few days.**

[8:11] So you think it’s a fake come-on.   
[8:11] Over text.

[8:12] **You’ve texted him almost nonstop.**

[8:12] Ron, you signed up for a dating website and you’re warning me about catfishes.

[8:13] **I did that as a joke!**

[8:13] Right.

[8:13] **You know that! You were there! YOU dared me to!**

[8:14] Hahahahahaaha  
[8:14] Just saying.

[8:15] **Shove off and watch the bloody movie, you have to do the review sheet for me, remember?**  

[8:16] Fuck. Fine. 

- 

[7:28] How's that sweater. 

[7:30] _Warm, as you would guess._

[7:30] Cool.  
[7:31] I didn't know how to start the conversation. 

[7:35] _Asking about my attire is foolproof.  
_ [7:35] _Maybe listen in class instead of texting?_

[7:36] Psh, no fun. Besides, we're watching a movie, and it's even more boring than you are. 

[7:37] _I’m incredibly interesting._

[7:37] Sure, sure, sure. Mhm.

[7:38] _You're the one texting me first._

[7:39] Touché, my friend. Touché.

[7:41] _Well, at least your education taught you one French word._

[7:43] Yes, yes. I definitely didn't learn it from Ben Stiller, that'd be silly.

[7:45] _What're you doing watching American movies?_

[7:46] Did you just look up Ben Stiller?

[7:50] _I don't watch American movies often enough to know American actors._

[7:52] But it's Ben Stiller.

[7:53] _I feel like you're trying to make me feel guilty about not knowing who he is._

[7:54] YOU SHOULD FEEL GUILTY.  
[7:57] Blue Steel?

[7:59] _???_

[8:00] This is so sad.

[8:02] _I think you're overreacting a bit._

[8:04] I'm not overreacting, I'm just disappointed.  
[8:05] I'm going to have to make you watch so many movies.

[8:07] _I didn't agree to this._

[8:08] Exactly the point of me using the word "make."  
[8:09] But what to make you watch first, is the question.  
[8:09] Decisions, decisions.

[8:11] _I hope you get detention._

[8:11] Ouch, harsh. I'm going to need therapy.  
[8:12] And you're at a private school, I bet you’d get detention before me. More strict, right?

[8:13] _I can't make an objective comparison, but I'm thinking yes.  
_ [8:15] _I have to go._

[8:15] Goody two-shoes.

- 

Wednesday PM

[1 NEW VOICEMAIL FROM HARRY - 2:17] 

"... --ot it in for me! Did I tell you Flitwick failed my project? FAILED! It's not my fault it all went arseways, Dean-- ...  sure thing! Can't concentrate for even a ... came back from the jacks and he'd skipped out, the bastard, then texted me later to apol-- ... --king hell, I'll see you tomorrow.”

-

[3:23]  _Um?  
_ [3:23]  _Are you Irish?_

[3:26] What? No?

[3:27]  _You left me a voicemail?_

[3:28] Uh, I don’t think so?  
[3:30] Oh shit. I did.  
[3:31] That was an accident. My bad, my bad.   
[3:33] I didn't even realize. 

[3:35]  _You butt-dialed me? Ahaha._

[3:36] Piss off. Did it sound like I was in a car?

[3:38]  _I suppose it could've?  
_ [3:39]  _I'm gonna say yes, tentatively._

[3:40] You must've been hearing Seamus. Was he loud?

[3:41] _Very. He was yelling about a teacher, I think._  

[3:43] Yeah, he's not the best student. Particularly bad in the classes with the toughest teachers, which doesn't work out well for him. 

[3:44]  _I don't imagine it would. I’m guessing Dean is the one who gets stuck as his partner, from what I just heard._

[3:45] Constantly. I think he’s resigned himself to failing partner projects.

[3:45] _Why?_

[3:46] Friendship, it seems.

[3:48] _I have friends, but I don’t fail classes for them._

[3:49] He’s not failing classes, just those assignments. He still manages As.  
[3:50] You have friends?

[3:52] _Fuck you._  
[3:52] _I have so, so many. There’s a line from here to London.  
_ [3:52] _And still a shame for him._

[3:53] Seamus is a good guy.

[3:55]  _I’m not doubting that. If you’re so insistent, do you help him?_

[3:57] We all try, but that’s mostly Hermione. I'm not great at the subjects he struggles with, either. 

[3:58] _Hermione?_

[3:59] Oh, yeah. She's my friend. Bloody brilliant. Dating Ron. 

[4:00]  _Well that's a pair._

[4:02] They’re that couple that should’ve been dating for years, but they only realized it a few months ago. 

[4:03]  _How do you pronounce Hermione?_

[4:06] Herm-i-o-knee

[4:07]  _You do know a lot of people with peculiar names._

[4:08] I collect them. 

[4:09]  _So I'm like a stamp, or coin?_

[4:12] How about a shell?

[4:14] _I can live with that. As long as it's a nice one. Oh, what are those ones long, pointy, spiral ones?_

[4:16] Even being the esteemed collector I am, I don't know the name of them. But I think I know what you're talking about. You can be one of those. 

[4:17] _I'm so honoured. Thank you, Harry._

[4:17] My pleasure.  
[4:18] Honestly sorry about that butt-dial though.

[4:21]  _Oh, that’s okay?_

[4:22] Well, I mean, it was pretty weird. To call you.   
[4:22] That'd be weird, right? 

[4:25]  _I was in class, so I didn't see it. And I don't think very weird, we have been talking for the past few days. At least I know you're not a 70 year old man._  
[4:26]  _Hold on. Actually, I don't know that.  
_ [4:26]  _Seamus could've been you're grandson or something._

[4:27] I'm not a 70 year old man.

[4:29]  _SOMETHING A 70 YEAR OLD MAN WOULD SAY._

[4:31] Fuck!  
[4:31] Wait.

[CALLING DRACO - 4:53] 

_“…Hello? This isn’t a followup butt-dial, is it?”_

“Ahaha, no. Oh, I’m not a 70 year old man."

_"Well, me either."_

[CALL ENDED - 4:54]

[4:55] Did you  
[4:55] Did you hang up on me?

[4:56]  _I'm in PUBLIC.  
_ [4:57]  _Do you really want to talk to Pansy again?_

[4:59] Ah  
[4:59] Not right now maybe.  
[5:00] Your voice is weirdly accurate to what I thought it would sound like. 

[5:00]  _They're looking at me funny.  
_ [5:01] _Oh_

[5:01] Who?

[5:01] _Is that a good thing?_  
[5:03]  _Wait, yeah, Blaise and Pansy. It's fine though. But, is that a good thing? I hope you didn't think I would sound… I don't know… bad?  
_ [5:04]  _I'm making no sense, sorry._

[5:06] No! No, you sound fine.   
[5:07] Normal  
[5:07] Good

[5:08]  _Oh  
_ [5:09]  _You sound not Irish._

[5:12] Is that disappointing? I could always set you up with Seamus. Sure, he's straight, but I think you could persuade him.

[5:13]  _Haha. As lovely as he seems..._

[5:14] Hm?

[5:18]  _You know what, yes, set us up. I want a beautiful dinner with rose petals on the table and live jazz playing softly in the background. End the night with fireworks and a rom-com kiss._

[5:19] You're so high-maintenance. 

[5:24]  _;^)_

[5:26] AGAIN with with nose. 

-

[7:22]  _Hey Pans?_

[7:25] Yeah

[7:26]  _Do you know who called Draco?_

[7:27] Today?  
[7:29] I'm not sure.

[7:31]  _I was thinking his dad, but he hasn't said anything.  
_ [7:33]  _He looks fine right now._

[7:34] It could've be someone else. He usually talks to me if his dad calls him.

[7:36]  _Ok, I hope so. Do you know who else it could've been then?_

[7:39]  Blaise, we both know how much of a smug prat he is. Last week he didn't look nervous when he was being punched in the face. He was still smirking till it hit him.

[7:41]  _Sounds like him.  
_ [7:43] _Why doesn't he ... just ... avoid being punched?_

[7:44] "Malfoys don't walk away from a fight. That'd be shameful."  
[7:46] But he won't fight back, of course. Idiotic. He's so frustrating.

[7:49]  _And ridiculous. He always is._

[7:54] Agreed.

[7:56]  _Pansy, I know we agreed to not interfere more than we had to, because of his stupid Malfoy pride or whatever he goes on about when we try to help, but it feels pretty shit._

[7:57] Yeah, I get it, Blaise.

-

Friday PM

[7:01]  _ **Ron tells me you're always talking to some boy?**_

[7:06] Uh. Yeah?  
[7:07] I mean, not always! but I am.. communicating with someone new. Um  
[7:08] Why're you making this sound so weird??

[7:09]  _**You just didn't tell me.** _

[7:13] We haven't been relatively alone since I met him? 

[7:15]  ** _Oh, alright. A secret._**

[7:18] No, Hermy, not a secret. I’d just rather not be yelling, "Hey, a girl gave me not-her-number and I've struck up a conversation with the random bloke who's number she gave me instead."

[7:23]  ** _Hahaha. You're sure he's who he says he is?_**

[7:23] Yes, mother. 

[7:26]  ** _Harry I'm just making sure you're not talking to some paedophile or something._**

[7:27] I was the one who texted him... that'd be a pretty unfortunate coincidence. 

[7:29]  ** _Still._**

[7:29] Ok, Hermione, thank you so very much for your advice. You really don't have to worry.   
[7:30] Why’re you texting me on your date anyways?

[7:34]  ** _Not really a date, Ron just needed help with maths. He's been telling me about your friend.  
_** [7:35]  ** _He also mentioned that you almost killed him Tuesday morning._**

[7:36] I DID NOT. I just jumped when my phone buzzed, it was startling. No one was in any danger. Sheesh. You have no confidence in me. 

[7:39] **_He also said you told him it was Luna._**

[7:39] It was!

[7:40]  ** _Showing you her Arts project?_**

[7:40] Yes!!!!

[7:42]  ** _Luna doesn't even take Arts, Harry.  
_** [7:51]  ** _Fine, don't answer._**

[7:53] I really dislike when you catch me lying. 

[7:54]  ** _Perhaps try not lying?_**

[7:57] Okay, it wasn’t Luna, but who cares.

[7:59]  ** _So it was him?_**

[8:01] Yeah, yeah, “him.” This is why I didn't say. God, you are trying to make me sound mental.

[8:04]  ** _I’ll shut up if you be careful._**

[8:05] You sound like Molly.

[8:07]  ** _She’s a lovely woman, thank you._**

[8:07] Hermione, I’m not your kid, you don’t have to hover.  
[8:08] And by "you don't have to," I mean "don't."

[8:10]  ** _Just calm down. I’m just saying don’t give him your address or anything._**

[8:11] Shit! And I just gave him access to my bank account!

[8:13] **_I’m serious, Harry!_**

[8:16] C’mon, Herm, I’m not an idiot. I have had the cyber safety talk, don’t need a refresh.  
[8:17] Besides, he sounds my age.

[8:17]  ** _You talked to him? On the phone?_**

[8:19] Yes, for a second/second and a half. On Wednesday.

[8:20]  ** _How’d he sound?_ **

[8:21] What’s that even mean?   
[8:21] Normal, I guess?

[8:24]  ** _So he’s not some crotchety, gross old man?_**

[8:26] As far as I can tell, no. Unless he’s an impressionist, which would be too much of a stretch even for you. So I’m going to say, yes, he’s about my age.

[8:31]  ** _Did he sound cute? Maybe we can set him up with Ginny, and Ron can stop having his Dean-fits._**

[8:31] How can you tell someone’s appearance from their voice?

[8:32] **_You just… can, I can’t explain it exactly._**

[8:34] I guess he could sound attractive? Posh-y. I have no clue.

[8:35]  ** _I don’t think that’s Ginny’s type :(_**

[8:36] Maybe because she likes Dean and let’s all just give her some space about it. 

[8:38]  ** _You’re just saying that because you wish we did the same thing when you two liked each other._**

[8:40] Oh. Maybe. Still makes sense, though. 

[8:41] **_Your relationship thing was so weird._**

[8:42] I second that, let’s never bring it up ever again. I’m fine with Dean.

[8:42] **_Me too, but I think I’ll let Ron rant for a few more days before I tell him._**

[8:44] Let him simmer down about the whole thing. That fight went on for hours, it was torture.

[8:45]  ** _You weren’t even downstairs! Ron told me._**

[8:47] Well, I heard it, kind of. I couldn’t go into the kitchen to get snacks, so that’s how it affected my life.

[8:51] **_Wow, you poor thing._**

[8:52] I know, thanks for the consolation.

[8:52]  ** _I have to go, Ron is flicking my phone._**

[8:53] I hate when he does that.  
[8:54] Good luck with maths.

[8:54] **_I’m positive he can get this._**

[8:55] Just keep him until late, so he’s worn out by the time he gets home.

[8:57] **_I’ll try._**

-

[9:40]  **Set me free.  
** [9:41]  **It’s been HOURS.**

[9:44] It's been, like, less than one.  
[9:44] And I’m not going against Hermione with education.

[9:47] **She’s going to kill me, I swear.**

[9:48] As long as I get the car.

-

Saturday AM

[1:22] Draco!

[1:37] _What?_

[1:39] Hello!

[1:40] _Nope, not doing this. Goodnight, Harry._

[1:43]  Not even for me?

[1:44] _Not even for you, I’m knackered._

[1:44] Why?

[1:46]  _I had a two hour chem lab, and then Pansy dragged me to Blaise’s scrimmage (it wasn’t even a game, I don’t know why we had to be there), and then to the pub they both insisted upon frequenting, so I am drunk and tired._

[1:47] Hermione comes to my and Ron’s scrimmages!

[1:48] _Bless her heart.  
_ [1:49]  _I don’t think I’m as supportive as she is._

[1:51] Scrimmages can be fun.

[1:53] _It was very cold.  
_ [1:53]  _But we won! Woot!! Go team, go football, I love football!!!!!!!!!!_

[1:54] Even I can pick up the sarcasm in that.

[1:55] _Was your Friday night as fun as mine?_

[1:56] Better, I was babysitting.

[1:56] _You babysit?_

[1:57] Well, my cousin, Teddy.  
[1:59] He just kept running around the house with a broom pretending he was flying.  
[2:00] For hours, Draco.

[2:00] _Did you join him?_

[2:01] ... Yes.  
[2:02] I'm pretty sure I ran more than at football practice. Kids are tiring as hell.

[2:03] _Just get a child instead of a treadmill._

[2:03] Hahahaha  
[2:04] He's a great kid, though. I like kids.

[2:05] _Planning on raising mini-Harrys?_

[2:07] Eventually, but I hope they get their mom's hair.  
[2:08] What about you?

[2:09] _I think my hair's more like my dad's._

[2:10] Ha. Ha.

[2:11] _Need to have at least one._

[2:12] A kid? "Need"?

[2:14] _Lineage, and shit. You know._  
[2:15] _Oh wait you don't._  
[2:16]  _I come from very very very old money. And traditional values. Etc. Need an heir to give all that to._

[2:18] You're forced to have a kid?

[2:19] _Not forced, but if I want to please my family...  
_ [2:20] _I'm not really sure if I want to have a family or if I've just accepted it, but I don't know if that'd make a difference._

[2:22] I'm sorry.

[2:22] _It's col.  
_ [2:22] _*cool._  

[2:23] Not really, but I hope you and your mini-Draco have fun.  
[2:24] We can have playdates _._  
[2:39] Draco?  
[2:41] Did you fall asleep?  
[2:44] Dammit. 


	3. Chemistry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Key: Harry -  _Draco_ \- **Ron** -  Pansy \- _Blaise_

Saturday PM

[8:44] Are you in chemistry?

[8:48]  _Mhm_

[8:49]  Um, are you good at it, like, can you explain things? Specifically colloids and suspensions?

[8:51] You don't have to, obviously, but I have to do my and Ron's homework. 

[8:52]  _Ron's homework? Why?_

[8:54] He came and helped me with history when he was in that row with his sister, but I didn't really think it through because we're both terrible at chemistry.  
[8:55] Please say you're good at it. 

[8:56]  _Lucky for you I'm in the specialty class, so I'll try to help._  

[8:57]  That sound fancy and like you know your shit. 

[8:57]  _I know my shit._  

[8:58] You're my hero.

[9:00]  _Hah, so now you're the damsel in distress._

[9:01] If we're talking about chem then yes.   
[9:03] Could I call you for it?

[9:04]  _Yeah, sure._  
[9:05]  _One second._

_ [CALLING HARRY - 9:07] _

"Draco!"

" _Hey, Haribo._ "

" **Yo, Draco!** "

" _Is that Ron?_ "

"Yeah, that's Ron, he's not helping at all though."  
" **Course I'm not! You promised to do it.** "  
"Only under the duress of history."  
" **You passed the test didn't you?** "  
"...Git."

" _Haha, nice to meet you._ "

" **You do sound sorta posh.** "

"Ron!"

" _Side effect of growing up around posh people, I suppose. Don't give me that look!_ "

"Uh?"

" _Sorry, no, talking to Blaise. Yes, of course I'm talking about you when I say that._ "

"Hey, Blaise!"

" _He can't hear you._ "

"Oh, okay."

"...  **Uh, sorry about the posh thing, Draco, didn't mean to offend, or whatever.** "

" _Um, that's ok?_ "

" **Harry was glaring at--STOP THROWING THINGS AT ME, I'M JUST TALKING TO 'IM.** "  
"..."  
" **Fine if you're gonna be like that! Draco, did you know that one ti--mmphmrh!!** "

" _I'm not sure I got all that._ "

"..."

" _What the fuck, are you wrestling?_ "

"...shut u--" 

[CALL ENDED - 9:13]

[CALLING DRACO - 9:15]

"Ron says he won't interrupt."  
" **I swear to it.** "  
"Oh har har. Hilarious."

" _But I sort of wanna hear about this story._ "

"No, never, sorry."  
" **I'd be happy to tell you about it, Draco.** "

" _Awesome, my number's 9--_ "

"RON, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP."   
" **Touchy, touchy.** "

" _Wasn't this about chemistry..._ "

"Oh, yes. Colloids and suspensions. Please, please help me."

" **Reduced to begging.** "  
"I swear--"  
" **Draco, teach the poor boy chemistry.** "

" _Well, I'm trying. Alright, so..._ "

**-**

[9:08]  _It was Harry._  

[9:12] What?

[9:13]  _Who Draco was on the phone with, Wednesday I think? When he looked nervous._  

[9:13] You serious?

[9:15]  _Yeah, he's talking to him now. Started off with the same look._

[9:17] I've had sex with him and he's never had the decency to look nervous in front of me. I thought he just wasn't capable.  
[9:17]  Bastard. 

[9:19]  _Are you actually mad?_

[9:20] No. Gods, no. Finally showing emotion might actually help him. 

[9:21]  _Loss of a great lay, though, if something does happen._  

[9:23] I do not need to know that, thank you. 

[9:24]  _My bad._  

[9:26] How's he now. 

[9:27]  _He's talking about chemistry, so extremely animated._  

[9:27] Fucking wierdo. 

[9:28]  _Yeah, but he's the only reason you passed Snape's class._  

[9:29] Ugh. Barely. 

-

"Aaaaaaaaand that's question 18. I never want to hear about chemistry ever again thanks."

" _I think you might have a few classes left, it's only November after all._ "

"Don't remind me. And you do it for me, how 'bout."

" _I think you're overestimating how nice I am._ "

"UUUGH. But, Draco..."

" _Don't whine, you took the course._ "

"I had to. But Slughorn's terrible."

" _You're teacher's name is Slughorn? Christ, I don't blame him._ "

"Your name's Draco."

" _Are you implying 'Draco' is as bad as 'Slughorn'?!_ "

"Oh, okay, no. I take that back."

" _I'm telling my mother you think she might as well have named me Slughorn._ "

"Don't overreact."

" _I'm writing the letter now._ "

"Maybe it'd have matched your personality better, now that I think about it."

" _This, whatever, friendship's over._ "

"Hahahah."

" _You don't know, I might just be as terrible as my name suggests._ "

"Or maybe you're just sp--OH, sod off, Ron."

" _You're such a romantic. I'm with Ron on this one._ "

"... Then sod off both of you. Ok, Ron went downstairs, thank gods."

" _Yeah, I heard the 'you won't get a room so I'll give you one.' Now that it's been brought up, how're you doing Blaise? Oh, he's glaring at me. Yes, I agree it's late. He's telling me to get out or else he'll--alright, alright, sheesh. What, am I supposed to sit in a stairwell or something? He's telling me to, yes, sit in a stairwell. Also, to stop repeating him. Okaaaay, Blaisey, have a good sleep. Don't have another wet dream about me, don't want to explain that to the cleaning staff again, do we? Awesome, great, nighty night! Harry says you're a bad roommate._ "

"I do not!"

" _Yep, g'night, Blaise. Ok, I'm out in the halls._ "

"I did no--"

" _Relax, he knows_."

"Oh, well, good. So, we're alone..?"

" _Are you rubbing your hands together evilly while you say that._ "

"Honestly, that sounds more like you, not me." 

" _Ah, yes, you caught me. I manipulate high school aged boys into being alone in their room and then I run my hands together evilly and ... what? Kidnap them from afar? Kill them with my highly skilled hit men? Seduce them with my magical powers? Drive them to the brink of insanity and THEN kidnap them and THEN seduce them and THEN kill them?_ "

"That last one sounds about right. You could have a fun serial killer name in the papers. Something like, hm, Dracola."

" _Very imaginative, Harry._ "

"Thank you. I'd obviously be the lead reporter so I could choose it."

" _I admire your dedication. How are your writing skills?_ "

"Subpar, but I have a lot of passion."

" _How sweet._ "

"Just as long as I'm not a victim."

" _Fuck. And I spent all this time prepping. Tonight was going to be the night._ "

"You chose me to take your murder virginity? Aw."

" _Actually, you called me, so that's volunteering._ "

"But can you unintentionally volunteer to be murdered? I feel like volunteering requires, well, at least conscious thought." 

" _You can break some rules._ "

"Thanks. Wait. No. I don't volunteer. Keep me alive so I become the lead reporter and then can nickname you."

" _Please don't nickname me Dracola. Choose something cooler._ "

"No, sorry, what's done is done... Stop calling me Haribo?"

" _Never._ "

"Stubborn, aren't you."

" _I'm not a vampire, though._ "

"And I'm a gummy bear?!"

" _Mine's supposed to relate to my crimes._ "

"Oh right: kidnap, seduce, kill. You can be a modern day, very sexy, Dracula. Er, Dracola."

" _Don't try to justify your off-the-cuff nickname._ "

"I'm standing by it. And don't make that noise! You were gonna interrupt me, I know it. Stop laughing!"

" _You don't know me that well!_ "

"It appears I do!"

" _I was just going to say you're being as stubborn as you say I am!_ "

"Ah, yuuup. Yes, I am." 

" _You're grinning._ "

"So now you can tell, hm?"

" _It appears were both very in sync. Our psychic connection has strengthened._ "

"Twin level."

" _We're so connected._ "

"So I tell when you wank now?"

" _...._ "

"Oh god."

" _............WHAT?!_ "

"... I... It was a joke!"

" _OUT OF ALL THINGS? HARRY._ "

"It sounded funny in my head and less creepy."

" _GODS._ "

"I'm hanging up."

" _DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE._ "

"Blocking your number."

" _DON'T YOU IGNORE THIS. You just asked if you can tell when I wank._ "

"I'm never talking to anyone ever again."

" _Holy fuck, you honestly said that._ "

"I'm sorry."

" _My stomach actually hurts from laughing so hard._ "

"Don't you dare tell anyone."

" _Mhm, how you going to stop me?_ "

"I'll find a way. I bet there's a wooden stake around here somewhere."

" _Threatening a murderer with murder, the irony._ "

"You're still a murder virgin, remember?"

" _No, I'd forgotten. Can never keep track of how many deaths I caused. Thanks for being my personal counter, Harry._ "

"What else could I possibly be alive for."

" _I really have no cl--OW, fuck, what the hell?_ " 

"Hah, fuck off, Mal--"

[ _CALL ENDED - 11:33_ ]

[CALLING DRACO - MISSED - 11:34]

[CALLING DRACO - DECLINED -11:36]

[CALLING DRACO - 11:37]

"What the fuck was that?"

" _I didn't hear someone coming down the stairs, turns out to be a guy who doesn't like me much._ "

"Why is your voice strained? Are you okay, what the fuck?"

" _Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it, he just stepped on my hand. A little alarming is all. Why're you so quiet?_ "

"Why?"

" _Oh, you sound angry. I'm sorry for hanging up._ "

"Not at you, you bloody oaf. Why does he not like you?"

" _Ah, okay. Um, remember how I said I might be as terrible as my name makes it sound like I would be?_ "

"... You were kidding?"

" _Well, I used to be. As bad as you would think, that is, maybe worse. Maybe. Gods, I don't know. I, um, last year I was pretty shit, so I can take the occasional hand-stepping._ "

"What'd you do?"

" _Alright, well, I may have been part of an attempt to get our headmaster fired. Illegally and all._ "

"What?!"

" _I, okay, backstory. He's old as hell and had been running my very prestigious school for a really long time. He began this scholarship program, which, to put it nicely, pissed some families off. Including my father._ "

"So, your dad's classist."

" _Absolutely. They despised the idea of the school becoming less distinguished, and by 'they' I mean parents who basically formed a cult in my home. It was horrifying. There was this plan, scheme, basically to plant false evidence in the records so he would be dismissed and his record ruined and everything would return to it's origins._ "

"Shit..."

" _Yeah, I know, right? Because I was the only one they had on the inside, they decided I would be the one to plant the 'evidence,' but they took a hell of a long_ _time making sure it was a 'foolproof' plan and by then I was disillusioned about the psychotic mess I was part of. But my parents were involved and the leader threatened them with exposure and prison time, and I did it._ "

"You got away with it?"

" _Fuck no. Everything was found out almost instantly. The only reason my parents, well, and I, aren't in jail is because my father saw it nosediving and gave names to the police. It was awful. I definitely was._ "

"But you're not anymore."

" _I--no. No, I don't think... I never wanted to be...that. Do that. I know that doesn't really change anything--_ "

"Yeah, it does."

" _Oh._ "

"Draco, it's fine."

" _Hah, you can say that, you weren't here._ "

"I mean, obviously you were awful, but Pansy and Blaise were, I'm assuming?"

" _Yes, well, they're good friends._ "

"They see something good in you, obviously."

" _And you trust their opinions?_ "

"Plus my own gut."

" _Hermione told me you do a lot of things from your gut instincts._ "

"I'm never terribly off. I don't think you're a bad person."

" _We're you even listening._ "

"Yes. You did shit things, but I don't think you're a shit person, Draco."

" _You could be wrong, I could definitely be a shit person._ "

"Why're you trying to convince me you are?"

" _Harry, I'm not very well-liked._ "

"I figured after you were kicked just then. I've never seen someone stepped on that everyone admired, and I don't think private schooling is that strange."

" _Physical pain instead of compliments._ "

"Ouch."

" _So you're really cool with that._ "

"I just... you're a product of your upbringing. I'm not going to blame you for that. And  I can make my own decisions, get off your high horse." 

" _I just wanted to make sure--_ "

"Yes, thanks. Very kindly shut up a moment. You're an arse, but I'm still talking with you, and I would like to continue without all your whining." 

" _I don't whine._ "

"Right, of course. You complain, aristocratically. 

" _Thank you._ "

"I don't think that's a compliment."

" _It's better than whiner._ "

"That's true."

" _Told you._ "

"You win this round."

" _I usually do._ "

"Is that what's gone to your head?"

" _Hah. Perhaps._ "

"I'd rather not compete with you then, wouldn't want to beat you and damage your confidence."

" _Don't worry, I'm quite persistent. Besides, I bet I could win._ "

"At what?"

" _Name it._ "

"I think I could physically beat you in a fight. Not that I'd want to! Obviously."

" _Well, you do sports. That's not fair_."

"It's completely fair. Physical fighting is the most basic of fighting."

" _Hm, I am a decent dodger._ "

"Are you just going to run until I give up? That's your plan?"

" _If it works. Fine, anything but a physical fight._ "

"Then you might win."

" _Good._ "

"Ron's coming back in the room, so I'm going to head off."

" _Oh, alright. Hey, Harry?_ "

"Yeah?"

" _Let me know later if you can feel when I'm wanking._ "

"I SWEAR TO M--"

[ _CALL ENDED - 11:58_ ]

-

" **Why're you blushing so hard?** "

"Fuck off."

-

Sunday AM

[12:02] Would love to see your coffin someday ;-) Night Dracola

[12:02] _Tosser._


	4. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Key: Harry -  _Draco_  -  **Ron**  -  ** _Hermione_**  - Pansy -  _Blaise_

Wednesday PM

[4:08] Are you're friends as interested as mine?

[4:14] _In what?_

[4:16] In this.  
[4:16] You know, friendship?

[4:17]  _"This."_  
[4:18]  _Christ, you make it sound like we're having a secret internet affair or something._  
[4:18]  _But I think that depends on how interested your friends are?_

[4:20] Well, Hermione wants to talk to you. 

[4:22]  _Pansy's already talked to you (albeit drunk), so I guess they're about equal. Blaise doesn't care much, though._  

[4:23] Is Pansy nice? She seemed, um, strong. 

[4:24]  _You're not wrong. She's very protective._  
[4:25]  _Mostly over me, I'll admit._

[4:26] Do you warrant protecting? 

[4:26]  _In her eyes, yes, apparently. But, no, I don't._  
[4:27]  _We've been mates since we were little, guess we picked up habits._

[4:29] Only mates? 

[4:31]  _Why, you want an in with her? I'll tell her, wait one sec._

[4:32] No!   
[4:33] I mean, she's great, but   
[4:35] You're kidding aren't you. 

[4:36]  _I usually am.  
_ [4:37]  _Yes, hah, only mates. If you ever do want me to talk to her for you. _

[4:39] I'll let you know if I ever do. 

[4:40] _I can't believe you're cheating on Cho._

[4:41] Got you instead ;-)

[4:43] _What a fucking romantic._  
[4:44]  _Also, that nose is infinitely less cool than ;^) _

[4:45] Now who's winking. 

[4:46]  _I was merely correcting your emoticon._  
[4:47]  _Is it an emoticon if it's not one of those emojis? Texticon? _

[4:50] I think they're still called emoticons, even if they're colourless and not as fun. 

[4:54]  _*\\('-')/*_

[4:55] Oh my god.   
[4:56]  Draco no. 

[4:57]  _Draco yes._  
[4:57]  _It's a cheerleader, I think._  
[4:58]  _Actually, looking back at it, I'm a little terrified of my own creation. _

[5:00] You didn't even copy and paste it? That was a glimpse into your emoticonned mind?

[5:01]  _I wanted it to be authentic._

[5:03] You're awful. 

[5:04] _ <.< _

[5:06] STOP THIS. 

-

Saturday PM

[CALLING DRACO - MISSED]

[ _CALLING HARRY - 6:29_ ]

" _Sorry, I missed that. What's up?_ "

" _ **Is this Draco?**_ "

" _Uh, yes. Why do you have Harry's phone?_ "

" ** _Sorry, this is Hermione. I'm Harry's friend._** "

" _Oh! Yeah, hi, he's mentioned you. Something like about talking to me, making sure I'm not an old pervert or something?_ "

" ** _I did not say that!_** " 

" _But you meant it?_ "

" ** _Well, maybe. Ron talked to you, but I just wanted to be positive. Harry's not a very careful person._** "

" _Oh?_ "

" ** _Hah, no, not at all. More of a 'jump now, look later' attitude. Results vary based on circumstance._** " 

" _I can imagine. Does he know you're calling me?_ "

" _ **Er, he's in the toilet**._ "

" _I doubt he would stop you if you asked to call me._ "

" ** _That's true, but I didn't really know how to approach this situation, your friendship being, well, as unorthodox as it is._** "

" _I guess, but this is all on you if he gets cross or something._ "

" ** _I don't think he will, at least not at you. He'll be more embarrassed, I think._** "

" _What? Why?_ "

" ** _Not about you! He just doesn't want us to tell you terribly mortifying stories._** "

" _But embarrassing stories are the best part about knowing someone's friends._ "

" ** _I agree. He just doesn't want to get flustered around you. He does that a lot._** "

" _Get flustered?_ "

" ** _Yeah, he stammers and--You can't tell him I told you._** "

" _That's.. that's sort of cute. And no worries. your secret's safe with me. I'll try to fluster him more, though._ "

" ** _I'm not sure you really need to try._** "

" _I...um--_ "

" ** _Gods, not you, too._** "

" _I'm not--!_ "

" ** _HARRY! I'm talking to Draco!_** "  
"What!? Hermione, I was gone for three minutes!"

" _Tell him you told me an embarrassing story._ "

" ** _I told him about that time when you tried to ask Gi--_** "  
"Hermione! Give me ... my pho...ne back."  
" ** _N--No! Haha he IS getting flustered.. Agh, no, he grabbed it._** "  
"I AM NOT. BYE, DRACO."

[CALL ENDED - 6:38]

-

" _ **Harry, don't sulk.**_ "

"I'm not sulking! Why'd you call him!?" 

" ** _You said I could talk to him._** "

"Well, duh, you could talk to him, 'Mione, but I didn't expect you to get into my phone and call him without me there!"

" ** _You don't have a passcode._** "

"But it was still wrong for you to go into my phone?"

" ** _Oh, Harry, come on. I'm sorry. He was sweet, though!_** "

"Well of course he was, he thought I would be answering! I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Were you?"

" ** _Was I sweet? Of course, I always am._** "

"How'd you already tell him a Ginny story befo--"

" ** _Harry, of course I didn't have enough time to tell him. It'll have to wait for later._** "

"Gods, please just forget about it. So, um ... you like him?"

" ** _Yes. I mean, from my three-minute interaction, I'd say yes. His voice is very attractive._** "

"That is not what I meant."

" ** _Hahaha, I'm kidding, even if it is. I'm sure yours is too. Okay, okay stop glaring! No, he seems funny. If rather proper._** "

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

" ** _He also didn't sound like some weird guy who would be using you or anything._** "

"Then he definitely fooled you. After teaching me chemistry for an hour, he immediately asked for nudes."

" ** _Don't mock me for worrying... He tutored you?_** "

"He explained a chemistry thing."

" ** _Wait, do you know what he looks like?_** "

"Of course, he sent me his nudes first. Ah, there's that look. No, I don't. Why, does it matter?"

" ** _Sorry, no, only a different sort of situation. I just assumed you, who knows..._** "

"Sent each other selfies or something?"

" ** _Oh, shut up. It's a strange thought. He could be anyone._** "

"You make it sound much creepier than it is. I mean, I could also be anyone to him."

" ** _Yes, but I know you._** "

"He doesn't." 

" ** _Well, you're cute._** "

"Hermione, I have to ask that you not come onto me when I share a bedroom with your boyfrien--Don't you dare hit me with that pillow!"

" ** _Urgh. I'm just saying it's unconventional and all. He could look like anything!_** "

"He could look like a tree, I really don't think I would care."

" ** _Herbal Draco._** "

"That'd be the best case scenario."

-

[7:48] Sorry about Hermione.

[7:53]  _Ah, yes, the famous Hermione. I hope I eased her worries somewhat._

[7:54] You did. She thinks you're nice. 

[7:56]  _Oh  
_ [7:56]  _That's good. I'm glad._     
[7:57]  _I was talking more about proving my age, but I'm happy she likes me._

[7:59] Right, right, that too. Of course you could still just be someone who has a very youthful voice. 

[7:59]  _The world may never know.  
_ [8:01]  _Oh, shit, I have to go._

[8:01] Okay _._

-

[8:16]  _ **Harry?**_

[8:17] Yeah, Herm?

[8:18] ** _I asked you to stop calling me that._  **

[8:18] Right, right.   
[8:19] Did you forget something here?

[8:21]  ** _No._**    
[8:21]  ** _I like Draco._**

[8:22] Yes, you said. He appreciates it.   
[8:23] Well, he says he does. 

[8:23]  ** _I hope it wasn't sarcastic.  
_** [8:24]  ** _You're terrible at sarcasm._**  

[8:26] I'm good at being sarcastic, just not... identifying it.   
[8:26] I don't believe he was lying. 

[8:27]  ** _Harry, your perceptiveness is about as keen as a pile of bricks._**

[8:28] I'll try not to be offended by that?

[8:28]  ** _Sorry, I love you anyways.  
_** [8:29]  ** _You like him?_**

[8:30] Who?

[8:30]  ** _Draco._**

[8:30] Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't be talking to him if I didn't.   
[8:32] He's super smart, Hermione, sometimes I feel like an idiot talking to him. It's like talking to you when you're being all academic. 

[8:32]  ** _Oh, haha. I hope that's not terrible._**

[8:34] No, just, he's posh. It's new. 

[8:34]  ** _He seems interesting._**

[8:35] Yeah. 

[8:35] ** _Then again, you must be interesting to him._**

[8:36] I don't see how, but you doubted my perceptiveness so...

[8:36]  ** _He sounded interested. He asked about your embarrassing stories._**

[8:27] What?!

[8:38]  ** _Kind of. I didn't tell him any._**  

[8:40] Wow, thanks, you're a fantastic friend. 

[8:40]  ** _I perceive the sarcasm._**    
[8:40]  ** _I'm just saying he does seem interested._**

[8:41] Oh, um. Cool. I hope my friends are interested in me. 

[8:41]  ** _I mean, interested._**

[8:41] Right.   
[8:42] I'd want to know stuff about you, too, if we haven't been friends since we were eleven. 

[8:42]  ** _A pile of bricks, Harry, I swear._**

[8:43] What?  
[8:43] What'd you do?

[8:44]  ** _/Interested/_**

[8:48] ???

[8:48]  ** _Do you know his sexuality?_**

[8:49] Draco's?  
[8:49] Oh, God, are you serious?

[8:50]  ** _You talk to him a lot._**

[8:50] I talk to you a lot!  
[8:50] Does Ron know?  
[8:50] I'm going to kill him for not warning me.   
[8:51] Christ, Hermione. 

-

[9:51]  ** _Is Harry very cross with me?_**

[9:53]  **Yeah.  
** [9:54]  **You did drop your theory on him pretty early and as far as I know he's not gay.**

[9:56]  ** _You agree with him?!  
_** [9:56]  _ **Ronald, he doesn't have to be gay to have a crush on a guy.**  
_ [9:57] _Also, he made that leap himself._

[9:58] **I actually do agree with him, and don't yell at me for it. I've shared a room with him for years and all he's mentioned were girls, unless he was joking.**

[10:00]  ** _I just wanted him to consider it!_**

[10:01]  **And you got him to throw a shoe at my head when I walked in.  
** [10:02] **Honestly, Hermione, I think anything from you will just confuse him more. This FRIENDSHIP is confusing enough, you don't have to bring sexuality-changing into it.**  

[10:02]  ** _Sexuality re-identification._**

[10:03]  **Herm**

[10:03]  ** _Stop calling me that!!  
_** [10:05]  _ **Tell Harry I'm sorry for assuming.**_

[10:05]  **THIS IS A FIRST**

[10:07]  ** _Shh._**

[10:09]  **THIS IS AN ACTUAL APOLOGY FROM MISS HERMIONE GRANGER?**   
[10:09] **WAS SHE, GASP, POSSIBLY JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS?**

[10:11]  ** _Oh, shut up._ **    
[10:13] **_I still think they like each_ other.  
** [10:16] _**Don't tell Harry I said that.**_

-

The shared room was dark, and the only noises were two soft vibrations as phones were plugged in to recharge. 

" **Hey, Harry.** "

"Yes?"

"' **Mione's sorry.** "

"Oh... Tell her it's alright."

" **I will.** "

"Ron, I don't think I'm gay."

" **I mean it's cool if you were--** "

"'Course. I mean, I'm not homophobic or anything. It'd be fine if I was, could even turn out to be... Whatever. I hate overthinking things, you know?"

" **I know. That's fine, mate.** "

"Yeah.."

" **Harry?** "

"Mm?"

" **Is he?** "

"What? Who?"

" **Draco?** "

"Oh. Is he gay?"

" **Yeah.** "

"I don't know."

" **Would you be acting differently if you did know?** "

"... No. No, I don't think so."

" **Then you're fine, Harry.** " 

"Thanks."

Harry's phone buzzed.

-

[11:01] _Night, Harry._

[11:02] Night, Draco.


	5. Harry Potter & the

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Key: Harry - _Draco_ \- **Ron** \- **_Hermione_** \-  Pansy \- _Blaise_

Saturday PM

[1:13] _Morning._

[1:16] It's the afternoon.

[1:17]  _Oh_.   
[1:17]  _Good afternoon, sir_. 

[1:18] Where were you that you missed morning. 

[1:19]  _A chemistry study group. We have a test Monday_. 

[1:21] Oh, should you be studying?

[1:21]  _I'm taking a break, already studied during the group._  

[1:22] You're bloody good at chemistry, aren't you?

[1:24] _I'm alright, I suppose. I'm going into it in university, I should hope I'm decent._

[1:25] No, I heard you when you were helping me and you're definitely better than alright. 

[1:25]  _Uh, thanks, Harry._  

[1:27] And you're going into it in uni? That's cool that you know what you're studying. 

[1:28]  _Do you not? Aren't you in twelfth?_

[1:30] Ah, I am but I don't really know, yet. I'm signed already for football. 

[1:31]  _Really? I probably shouldn't have made fun of your obviously stellar skills when you first mentioned them._  

[1:32] Haha, that was one of our first times talking, I don't blame you much.   
[1:32] Even if you'll regret it when I'm rich and famous. 

[1:34]  _Not going to keep in touch?_

[1:35] I'll send you a holiday card, how about?

[1:37]  _How sweet, I can't wait._

[1:38] <3

[1:38] _:^P_

[1:38] NO

[1:40] _:^/  
_ [1:40]  _Oh, I don't know much about football, but what position do you play?_

[1:41] Do you know what a striker is?

[1:42]  _Oh, yes, good, I know that one. So you're the goal-scorer._

[1:44] Mhm, and captain. That helps with uni applications. 

[1:45]  _Well, yeah, I bet. They have hard-ons for leadership roles. Harry, you sure are one impressive lad._

[1:45] Oh, shut up.   
[1:45] I've got errands to run for Molly, I'll text you later.

[1:46] Have fun!

[1:46] Ha. Ha.

-

Sunday AM

[12:18] I may have forgot to message you.

[12:21] _And I was so lonely._  
[12:21] _So betrayed._

[12:23] Okay, I didn't forget.

[12:23] _Hm?_

[12:24] My phone died and Ron wouldn't give me our charger.

[12:25] _Why not?_

[12:25] I told him I was going to text you, and he likes to see me suffer.

[12:26] _You play football. Couldn't you have... got it._

[12:28] He also plays football.   
[12:28] And he threw it out the window.

[12:29] _The phone charger?_

[12:30] Yes.  
[12:31] And then sat in front of the door and wouldn't let me out.  
[12:31] And he's bigger than me. 

[12:31] _Your house seems very cooperative._

[12:32] Actually, his brothers were the ones who got it to me. 

[12:33]  _Which ones? I'm trying to learn names._

[12:33] Fred and George. The twins. 

[12:34] _Give them my thanks. How'd they get it to you?_

[12:35] They found it in the grass, and then Ron chased them around the house. I also learned there's a passage between Charlie's and Bill's bedrooms I never knew existed until they dodged Ron through it. They managed to toss it up to me and then dogpiled on Ron. 

[12:36] _They were sitting on Ron?_

[12:37] Until about 12:20, yeah. 

[12:37] _Oh my god.  
_ [12:38] _Are they just that nice. To you, not to Ron, obviously._

[12:39] No, I think they would take any chance to mess with him and I love them for that. Ron finally convinced them him would let me use it. 

[12:40] _Thank you, Fred and George._

[12:42] I'll let them know.   
[12:42] They say, "No, thank you," and Ron says, "Yeah, thanks for the bloody bruises."

[12:42] _Ahaha_  
[12:43] _My night was a much tamer study session.  
_ [12:43]  _Then again, I was sort of involved in your wild story._

[12:44] The reason behind it all, Draco. Very important role.

[12:45] _I'll put it on my resumé._  
[12:45] _While you were doing that I thought of something._

[12:46] What? 

[12:47] _You're the captain of the football team?_

[12:47] Yes...?

[12:49]  _The captain of the football team and the lead cheerleader! Don't tell me you're not dating the lead cheerleader, and that you've ruined this time-held, public high school tradition!_

[12:50] It wasn't my doing! I... was actually, rather recently in fact, turned down by her. 

[12:50]  _Oh, shit. So she ruined the tradition. Countermeasures have to be taken._

[12:51] Like what? You going to move here and become head cheerleader? 

[12:52]  _If that's what it takes._    
[12:52]  _By the way, Harry, we all know you suggested it just to see my splits_. 

[12:53] Who are "we."

[12:53] _Our adoring fans._

[12:54] Fucking hell, Draco. 

[12:55]  _Then again, I'd be playing into all the "gay male cheerleader" stereotypes._

[12:56] Well, if, in your scenario, we would be dating, that should be expected. 

[12:56]  _Very true, Harry. For the tradition._

[12:56] So you say. 

[12:57]  _What're you implying?_

[12:59] It's just hard not to fall head over heels for me ;)

[1:00]  _I could say the same for you, suggesting it in the first place._

[1:00] :O

[1:01]  _Some would blame you for the homoerotic tension flooding our conversations._  

[1:03] Draco!  
[1:03] Christ...

[1:04] _I'm joking, Harry._

[1:04] Oh, thank God.

[1:06] _Maybe_.

[1:07] I'm  
[1:07] I'm aghast at your accusation.

[1:08] _Hahaha_

[1:00] Okay so, I was wondering, just curiosity and all. Are you? 

[1:09]  _Am I what?_  
[1:13]  _Human?_  
[1:13]  _A vegetarian?_  
[1:14]  _As handsome as you imagine?_  
[1:19]  _Harry!_

[1:21] Sorry, sorry. Molly called me downstairs.  
[1:22] Gay

[1:23]  _Oh_.  
[1:24]  _No, I'm bi._  

[1:25] Okay

[1:25]  _Um, I know some people take that strangely. Unfortunately._  
[1:26] _If you're uncool about that..._

[1:27] What!? No!  
[1:28] Gods, no. It's fine, it's really fine. I was just wondering. It doesn't matter. 

[1:29]  _Good. I really wouldn't want you to end up a biphobic shithead after all this._

[1:31] I'd thought you'd know me better than that!

[1:32]  _Sorry, sorry.  
_ [1:33] _It was possible. It would've been fucking awful, though._

[1:34] Well, yeah. 

[1:35]  _Are you?_  
[1:35]  _Gay, I mean. Or whatever._

[1:38] Uh, I don't really know.  
[1:39] I'm not trying to label anything right now. Just sorta going with the flow.  
[1:39] Sort of a recent thing, lots of noncommittal shrugging. 

[1:40]  _Oh, okay, yeah I understand._

[1:45] Are you out?

[1:45]  _Are we playing 20 questions?_

[1:46] Sorry, um, you don't have to answer. 

[1:48]  _No, it's okay. I might as well be to my peers. I used to "get around" a bit._

[1:49] Not anymore?

[1:50]  _You know how I mentioned the whole thing last year?_

[1:50] Yeah

[1:51]  _No one wants much anything to do with me now. Particularly not in their bed._  

[1:51] I'm sorry. 

[1:52]  _No, it's alright.  Only have a few months left here._

[1:53] I'm still sorry. 

[1:54]  _Hah, don't be. I'm about to transfer to your school anyways, remember? Cheerleader Scheme and all._

[1:54] Oh, right right. Can't wait to see you in spandex. 

[1:55]  _Yeah, I bet. I'll have to learn a few moves though, to get the top spot on the pyramid._

[1:56] They basically defy physics during that, I don't even understand. 

[1:56]  _Magic, obviously._

[1:57] Obviously.

[1:58]  _Luckily I'm trained in advanced balancing charms._

[1:59] Good thing. Wouldn't want you to embarrass yourself in front of my whole school. It might reflect poorly on me. 

[2:00]  _So my job is to make you look good?_

[2:00] And vice versa. 

[2:03]  _You better win that final game for me._

[2:03] But of course! I'm going to score the winning point and all. 

[2:04]  _I'm positively swooning. How could your current (and soon to be ex-) head cheerleader possibly be resisting you?_

[2:05] No idea. I have a great personality and I'm supermodel-handsome.   
[2:08] Hey, what're you up to?

[2:08] _Being unimpressed by your boasting._  
[2:09] _It's 2am, I'm in bed. Why?_

[CALLING DRACO - 2:10] 

" _...Hey._ "

"Hey! Yeah, Ron, I'm leaving, calm your tits."

" _What're you doing?_ "

"Why're you whispering?" 

" _Blaise is in here. I think he's asleep._ "

"Oh, do you want..."

" _No, don't get off the line._ "

"Okay, good, I didn't really want to."

" _But I also don't want to leave my bed. So you're going to have to deal with me whispering._ "

"Whispering in my ear, you trying to seduce me or something?"

" _Oh, fuck off._ "

"For such a toff you sure have a foul mouth."

" _Christ, I think a name like Hogwarts really cancels out any poshness awarded for being a boarding school._ "

"You go to Hogwarts?"

" _... Oh, yeah. Sorry, I sort of forgot that we don't know each other very well. You're not going to come murder me or something, right?_ "

"A little late for 'stranger danger' I think."

" _Yes, well. Oops._ "

"Just, Hogwarts isn't very far."

" _... What're you, um--_ "

"No! I was just ... stating. I'm not going to randomly show up, that'd be pretty terrifying. I wasn't suggesting anything, I'm sorry."

" _Don't apologize. Anyways, I'm sort of locked to school grounds and surrounding areas. Not much opportunity for a meetup._ "

"Yeah, right, I get it."

" _Harry, I do want to meet you._ "

"I didn't mean to--"

" _If only to see if you're as attractive as you claim to be._ "

"I'm rethinking all my bragging now."

" _Hahah._ "

"I'm sorry if I made this somewhat weird?"

" _I think it would've been much weirder if you didn't tell me and then you just sort of dropped the fact that we're twenty-odd minutes away from each other or something._ "

"An hour, at least, were not neighbors. So Hogwarts, huh?"

" _Yes, don't laugh at the name. Actually, do laugh at the name, who the fuck cares._ "

"I'm not sensing much school spirit."

" _My family's not on very good terms with them._ "

"Don't you have to pay a boatload to go there? Why would they keep you in?"

" _It's the best school closest to home. Father wanted to send me to Durmstrang, which is in Norway, but mother didn't want me to go so far._ "

"Tell them I say thanks."

" _I'm sure they'll be glad to hear that. Your approval is very important._ "

"Of course."

" _Well, yeah. They even fought to keep me in here, last year and all. It would've been mortifying if I'd been held out._ "

"Your parents seem... interesting."

" _Well, they're definitely not perfect. Could we not talk about them?_ "

"Right, sorry. I'd rather talk about how fucking preppy your uniforms are."

" _What? Have you already googled my school_?"

"I needed to see what my future cheerleader boyfriend was wearing everyday. Not bad."

" _Gods, Harry, what a perv._ "

"I objec--Oh Ginny, I. No, I wasn't. Sorry, I'll quiet down. No, he's not my cheerleader boyfriend, that was a joke--please don't. You shut your trap about this and I won't tell Ron that you're just getting home. Yes, alright, goodnight Ginny... Draco, that better not be the sound of you laughing!"

" _That was just so poor of handling. I can practically hear you blushing._ "

"I am not, you prat."

" _Whatever you say, cap'n_."

"Just shut up, would you!"

" _Apologies, don't kick me off the team._ "

"I'll kick you off something."

" _Is that a threat? I don't feel very safe with you knowing where I live._ "

"Well you told me. Hey, could I send you a letter?!"

" _What? Is this just an abrupt subject change?_ "

"Yes. I mean, I suppose I could, right? I bet there aren't two Dracos in your school."

" _Yes, you could, but I don't know why you wouldn't just, I don't know, call or text me with whatever you'd write._ "

"Maybe I'll send you something."

" _That sounds ominous. This is the first time I've felt good telling someone that all my mail is checked._ "

"So I can't send you--"

" _You can probably still send it, just it will be catalogued and some elderly women will have seen it._ "

"I get the added bonus of freaking out some old ladies!? How is this possibly a bad thing?"

" _Please don't send anything too extremely embarrassing._ "

"So not a rainbow dildo?"

" _As much as I'd love that, no. Please do not send me a rainbow dildo._ "

"You're no fun."

" _If your list of fun ideas is topped by sending someone a rainbow dildo then I'm seriously reconsidering my whole 'want to meet you someday' thing._ "

"Dracooooooooooooooooo."

" _You're ridiculous._ "

"Humph."

" _Besides, mail comes in during breakfast. So I definitely don't want to be opening that present in the great hall, if you do manage to sneak it through the mail ladies_."

"I'll develop a plan."

" _Can it not completely shred my dignity?_ "

"I'll try."

" _That's not very reassuring._ "

"I will do my absolute best not to embarrass you."

" _Ever._ "

"Ev--no, I'm not promising that. Good try."

" _It was worth a shot._ "

"Are you yawning?"

" _Don't sound so petulant, it is near 3am, Harry._ "

"Yeah, well, so what."

" _I do have to sleep, you know. I'm not actually a vampire._ "

"Shame, you could've been Edward."

" _Does that make you Bella? Or Jacob?_ "

"If Jacob is the one who looks concerned with his shirt off all the time then that's me."

" _Oh, how wonderful. An interspecies partnership, just like the end of Breaking Dawn except without the terrifying age gap._ "

"I'm sorry, have you actually read the books?"

" _As a dare._ "

"A dare?"

" _Yes, funny thing, used a lot by kids to peer pressure their friends. Ever heard of it? Well, they dared me and I did it._ "

"Oh, ha ha, thanks for the explanation. I can't believe you read Twilight."

" _Believe it, Jacob. There's a lot you don't know about me._ "

"Oh yeah? Like what."

" _My last name, for one._ "

"I figured we'd approach that subject eventually."

" _It's actually very odd, you not knowing it. Almost everyone besides Blaise and Pansy refer to me by my surname._ "

"I think that's the strange part about this. What is it?"

" _Malfoy._ "

"...Your villainy has doubled."

" _Tell me about it._ "

"Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. Your parents really did want you to seem evil. Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter."

" _Potter? I've sorted out your career decision._ "

"How original you are, Malfoy."

" _You sound like you should be on a book cover. And I wondered where your hero complex originated._ "

"Harry Potter and the Villainous Text Pal."

" _Do you just call me your 'text pal?' I prefer the term 'phone mate.'_ "

"Phone mate sounds like you're a phone sex service."

" _You mean I could be getting paid to talk to someone 'till 3am? Why the hell am I not doing that._ "

"Because I'm just a joy."

" _Harry Potter and the Free Trial Phone Mate._ "

"I don't think I'm affluent enough to afford your services."

" _Hah, then enjoy them when they last._ "

"To see if I want to subscribe to the full schabang?"

" _Yes. You see, were a different kind of phone service which actually involves no phone sex at all. Instead, you get an irritable, tired 17 year old to converse with. For an extra charge he can help you with chemistry homework._ "

"I'll sign up for the chem help please."

" _That'll be $999.99."_

"Is there anyway I could remove the whole chit chat bit and just get the school help?"

" _I'd recommend a normal tutor for that. Also, fuck you, I'm a pleasure._ "

"You described yourself as tired and irritable."

" _I am, but that doesn't lessen my charisma. Harry Potter and the Sleepy, Smart, and Sexy Phone Mate._ "

"That's a winner, there."

" _I'll draw up the covers; you get started on the plot._ "

"I'm grabbing my notepad right now, you got your pencils ready?"

" _Maybe in the morning. I do need to sleep._ "

"Just when we stumbled upon our brilliant idea?!"

" _Yes, I cannot completely survive without rest. I'm sure even our hero must sleep sometime._ "

"Nope."

" _Mm, right, Harry. I see._ "

"Nuh-uh."

" _Har--_ "

"Stop whispering my name like that."

" _Like what? Harry._ "

"Like that! All, I don't know, whispery."

" _Well, I am whispering._ "

"Just. I don't know, whisper normally. Your voice is too drawly and shit."

" _This is normally! I'm just tired._ "

"No, this is definitely on purpose."

" _Harry, Harry, Harry._ "

"I'm hanging up."

" _Okay, those were on purpose. What am I-- Shit, am I turning you on or something!?_ "

"Christ, no, you're just trying to."

" _I'm not! Hah, I'll have to note that you get turned on by your own name._ "

"I do not and stop sounding so goddamn smug, you ponce."

" _Yup, definitely do. I'll keep your secret, don't want it to 'reflect badly on me' as you say._ "

"Shove off and stop flattering yourself."

" _Mhm, Harry, sure._ "

"Goodnight."

" _But--_ "

"Goodnight."

" _'Night, Harry. Harry Potter. It is pretty catchy, I'll admit. A good name, Harry and the Potters. Harry, Harry Potter and the Voice Feti--_ "

[CALL ENDED - 2:54]


	6. Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Key: Harry -  _Draco_  -  **Ron**  -  ** _Hermione_  -** Pansy -  _Blaise_  -  ** _New Character Woo!_**

Sunday AM

[10:18] Is Draco coming as well? I'm calling ahead. 

[10:20]  _No, he's been studying for Snape's test since this morning._  

[10:21] Fucking hell, of course he is. I wouldn't mind if he wasn't already guaranteed an A just for being him. 

[10:22]  _I think he's written down every word Snape's ever spoken and memorized it._  

[10:23] I can imagine your room walls plastered with the transcripts. 

[10:24]  _His parents must've sent him something about the whole prefect nonsense, he usually isn't this finicky.  _

[10:25] One time, I went over for dinner and right after eating they told us to have a "study session." It was a friday night. 

[10:25]  _And did you?_

[10:27] Of course. Lucius is terrifying. 

[10:28]  _Agreed there. Did I tell you about the time I wore that pink shirt to dinner?_

[10:28] NO! Are you absolutely mad?

[10:30]  _How grown adults can be so derisive over a color on a guy is beyond me._  

[10:31] I'm surprised you came out alive.  
[10:32] Or that they didn't burn it or something, like some weird, old What Not To Wear hosts.   
[10:35] "Be rid of it immediately. Any resemblance of pink will be trashed along with any bright, or in the least bit fun, items. Obviously, such monstrosities are too joyful and blatantly support liberality, homosexuality, and any remanence of happiness."

[10:36]  _Your impression is uncanny._  

[10:36] I know, which is why it's so horrible, they're so horrible. 

[10:37]  _He can't stay with you for Christmas again?_

[10:38] I doubt they'd go away two years in a row. I can't even imagine what they do when vacationing. 

[10:39]  _It was probably business-only, it was right before the whole thing._  

[10:41] Yeah

[10:42]  _Did you make the reservation?_

[10:43] I did. I hope we get the hot waiter. 

[10:44]  _Is that why you recommended that restaurant? _

[10:44] ;)

[10:45]  _You're unbelievable._  

[10:46] I think I'm very believable.  
[10:47] Also because of their breadsticks. 

[10:48]  _I'll admit, the breadsticks were great last time. Worth your shameless flirting with the waiter._  

[10:49] You jealous, Blaisey?

[10:50]  _You make countless advances at me, I don't think I have anything to be jealous of._

[10:51] I just want to see what the stoic Blaise Zabini's like in bed. Pure curiosity. 

[10:53]  _Or you just like sex?_

[10:54] Or I just like sex. 

[10:55]  _I've been under the impression you have other suitors._

[10:56] Obviously, my charm is irresistible, but none I actually hang out with. 

[10:56]  _Here's a wild idea that I've definitely never suggested before, get a boyfriend._  

[10:57] Gross  
[10:58] The idea of romance is appalling. Can you even imagine me romantic?

[10:59]  _No, I really can't. So you prefer friends with benefits over casual sex, is what you're saying._  

[11:00] Hm, I suppose. And it's so convenient. 

[11:00] " _Convenient sex"_

[11:03] Yep, that about sums it up.

[11:05] _Just do all that with Draco again. Why'd you stop?_

[11:06] He actually likes romance. Never would admit to it, but he does. It's inevitable he'll find a relationship somehow, someplace, sometime. 

[11:07]  _He's a pretty huge prat, though._  

[11:08] Aren't we all.

[11:08]  _But I don't date and neither do you._  

[11:10] Point taken. Although, you remember how Umbridge had that boyfriend for three days? There's hope for everyone. 

[11:11] _ She was even more terrible after that, though._  

[11:12] But she's a success story for the assholes. 

[11:13]  _Our inspiration, Professor Umbridge._    
[11:14]  _I'm surprised you haven't slept with her._  

[11:15] She's somehow been able to deny my flirting. 

[11:16]  _I'll have to ask her for pointers._  

-

Sunday PM

[7:05] Draco real quick.   
[7:13] Cmon one question.   
[7:28] Ffffffff  
[7:31] Please <3  
[7:46] Fine. 

[8:12] _What?_

[8:15] .......Its been 84 years....

[8:16]  _Sorry, Rose, you did hog the raft._

[8:18] How'd studying go?

[8:19] _It went. What'd you need?_

[8:20] Oh, I asked Hermione, hah.

[8:21]  _You couldn't just do that in the first place?! I was IN THE ZONE, Harry, until you kept messaging._

[8:22] Wait, so you saw my messages and didn't respond? Rude. 

[8:23]  _No, don't go getting all offended. My phone vibrated, but I didn't check._

[8:25] Oh. Well, your name was closer on my phone, so I thought it was worth a shot. 

[8:26] _Not really sorry for you having to scroll down just a tad more to get to Hermione when I didn't answer._

[8:27] Draco am I not important for you to pause your studying?

[8:28]  _No, no you're not._

[8:28] Wow. WOW!

[8:29]  _Sorry, Harry. I am talking to you now, though._

[8:30] Yeah, but you're done studying, so it doesn't count. 

[8:30]  _You choose to talk to me._  
[8:37]  _Ha ha, Harry, good one. Very good._  
[8:39]  _Didn't your parents teach you any manners?_

[8:41] Don't think I was old enough to learn "put up with prats, who knows, they could be cute" before they died. 

[8:43]  _Oh_  
[8:43]  _Christ, Harry. I'm sorry._

[8:44] No! It's ok, shit, I forgot you didn't know.  

[8:45]  _I didn't know_

[8:45] I know.   
[8:46] It's fine, Draco, really I didn't know them at all, not much to... miss I suppose. Molly and Arthur and the best parents I could ever ask for.

[8:47]  _Are those Ron's parents?_

[8:47] Oh, yes.   
[8:48] The story of Harry: parents -> horrible relatives -> Ron's house. Very slow paced but fantastic critic reviews. 

[8:50]  _4.5 stars out of 5._

[8:51] Why the .5 off? You're part of it, at least you should like it. 

[8:52] _I've only been in it for the past month or so, limited plot interaction makes me a minor character._  

[8:53] You're not minor in any way imaginable.   
[8:54] And I don't think I could've, um, moved up our first interaction.  

[8:54]  _4.5 stars_

[8:55] Goddammit, Malfoy. 

[8:55]  _Bummer, Potter._  

[8:57] No, that's weird, I don't like it. I've never called someone only by their last name. 

[8:57]  _Double bummer, Potter._

[8:58] Fuck off. 

[8:59]  _Oh, and "put up with prats, who knows, they could be cute." I am cute._

[9:00] You could be. 

[9:01] _I am so cute._

[9:01] Possibly. 

[9:02]  _Are you suggesting I'm lying._

[9:02] You could be. 

[9:03]  _God, you're infuriating._

[9:04] Show some proof, Malfoy. 

[9:04] _I don't have any pictures, Potter._

[9:05] What?  
[9:06] You have no pictures? What?   
[9:06] Is this a catfish?

[9:07]  _No!_  
[9:08]  _My father takes my phone, so I keep it basically cleared. Sorry._

[9:09] You have no pictures?  


[9:10]  _Are we going to go over this a million times?_  
[9:11]  _No, I don't have any pictures, I delete my conversations, etc. I'm not sure if he'd ever actually look through anything, but it's just to be safe._

[9:13] That's.. terrible. You don't get to reread my hysterical jokes.  

[9:14]  _A great tragedy, I agree. But you have them._

[9:15] I do have them, yes. I also have pictures.  
[9:16] If you want.  
[9:16] Or anything.   
[9:17] That sounded so, so weird.

[9:17]  _I'm fine._

[9:18] Oh, okay. Yeah ok.  


[9:18]  _No, wait!_  
[9:19]  _I'd like to see you in person, if ever. Rather than a selfie._  
[9:22]  _Though you did seem to be offering a dick pic._

[9:24] Oh my god.  
[9:25] I was hoping you wouldn't have, um, thought that.

[9:27]  _If it was anyone else I would've._

[9:27] :/   
[9:28] I'm a normal bloke.

[9:29]  _I'm sorry if I don't see you offering to send me a dick pic._

[9:30] Do normal blokes do that?

[9:31]  _You'd be surprised._

[9:31] What!? Really!?  
[9:36] Draco??

[9:37]  _It's surprising how normal blokes seem until it comes to their dicks._

[9:38] You seem detached from this phenomena. 

[9:40]  _Oh._  
[9:41]  _No, I think I'm right there with them._

[9:43] And so I'm the only one you think isn't?

[9:44]  _I think you're into your own dick, but not enough to send it to me._

[9:45] I'm taking that as a compliment.

[9:46] _Please do._

[9:46] My selfies are much nicer than my dick pics anyway.

[9:47]  _I'll pass on both._  
[9:48] _All in due time._

[9:49] DRACO.

[9:50] _Kidding! Clearly._  
[9:50]  _As long as they're not mirror selfies._

[9:51] The selfies?

[9:52]  _No, the dick pics._  
[9:53]  _Yes, the selfies, Harry._

[9:54] But I dress so nice. 

[9:55]  _I highly doubt that based on my intuition and everything I know about you so far._

[9:56] Fine. I'm not the best dresser. Usually jeans and a jumper, most likely not matching, even though I can't imagine how to possibly figure that out. 

[9:57]  _You're hopeless._

[9:57] Oh and you dress so smart?

[9:58]  _In fact, yes._  
[9:59]  _Also, you can match jeans and a jumper, though I won't go into it._

[10:00] You should be the one with no dress code. 

[10:01]  _I probably should. Hah, a football captain who can't dress himself._

[10:02] I can dress myself, just not, uh, extremely well without help. 

[10:02] _You ask for help? That's precious._

[10:03] Sod off. Coming from the kid who'll never be able to prove he dresses well. This could all be a lie. 

[10:04]  _Pansy might have some pictures. I tell her not to take them but she's probably snuck a few, I'm not oblivious._

[10:04] I'll have to see. 

[ _CALLING HARRY - 10:06_ ]

" _Potter._ "

"It's definitely weird. No one calls me that."

" _Not professors?_ "

"What, no? Do they call you by last names in private schools?"

" _Yeah. Well, Miss blank, Mr blank._ "

"Mr. Malfoy."

" _That's only slightly okay when it's an old teacher saying it. Just 'Malfoy' to everyone else._ "

"Honestly?"

"Yes, I'm really not joking."

"That's just so strange... Why?"

" _It might be a Hogwarts-only thing, but unless you're friends with someone, you know them by their last name. Makes relatives bloody hard to distinguish, I admit._ "

"I can only imagine you trying to separate Ron's siblings."

" _I could just number them._ "

"Right, I think they would appreciate that."

" _Most do. 'Just saw Brown 3 with Greengrass 2._ '"

"How do people stand you."

" _Hm, I'll ask Blaise and Pansy when they get back. Though I could blame our parents for our getting along, they were the ones to originally tell us to meet each other._ "

"Your friend group was set up by your parents?"

" _Yes. Let's just say they believed unifying us under them would keep us following their beliefs and other things such._ "

"And did it?"

" _I'm not sure if even a wholly secluded life could make Pansy fall completely in line._ "

"I wouldn't imagine so from what you've told me. Pansy the rebel child."

" _Basically. Thank gods for her more lenient parents._ "

"Different from yours and Blaise's?"

" _There's no love lost between our parents and Pansy. They're civil, of course, they always are, just they consider her a more 'outside thinker._ '"

"Hah, and you aren't?"

" _Not to them, at least. What about your family?_ "

"Draco, my parents are de--"

" _Oh, no, I meant Ron's when I said... Sorry._ "

"Oh. Wow, don't be, they are my family. People just usually don't call them that, er, thank you. They're loud and wonderful. Molly, Ron's mum, is a very, let's say, dominant personality. She's really protective and a bit overwhelming at times, but great. Arthur's her husband and he's at work a lot but amazing as well. Then you have Bill, the oldest, does some kind of government work; Charlie, who works in Australia with a different dangerous animal every week; Percy, smart as hell and getting his masters in physics at the moment; Fred and George, troublesome twins with a tendency to disrupt everything when they're home, it's very lucky they're funny or they might be dead; Ron, well, you know him; and Ginny, who I've also mentioned."

" _So many..._ "

"Haha, yeah."

" _Only one girl?_ "

"Yes, well, Molly didn't stop trying for one. Thank gods she doesn't care about gender roles, though, 'cause Ginny's tougher than any of her sons. She even gives Bill a run for his money."

" _Not knowing either of them, I'll take your word for it. Hey, I'm going to go back to studying, so I'll talk to you later, okay?_ "

"Uuuuuuuugh, really? You just finished."

" _I took a break._ "

"I'd be flattered if you weren't abandoning me."

" _You have a very odd definition of abandonment._ "

"Well, I s'ppose so. Fine, learn more chemistry."

" _Hah, I will. Then I'll teach it to you._ "

"Thanks."

" _Try not to sound so overly grateful._ "

"It was one time!"

" _And how'd you do on the test? ... See, there we are. Goodnight, Harry._ "

"'Night, Draco. Good luck on your test."

" _Thanks._ "

[ _CALL ENDED - 10:15_ ] 

-

Monday AM

[9:50] _Shit_  

[9:51] What?

[9:52]  _I don't think Cho gave Harry the wrong number._

[9:52] Who's Cho? 

[9:53]  _The girl who Harry thought gave him the wrong number, my number._

[9:54] Oh?

[9:56] _I think he just read it wrong. She hasn't answered, I just sent her a message, but I think..._  
[9:57] _I don't know, he's a decent enough guy. Seems likely._

[9:58] Seems likely what?

[9:59]  _That she'd have actually given him her number._  

[9:59] Ah. Let me know if she answers. 

[10:00]  _I will._  
[10:24]  _She answered._  

-

[9:52]  _Hi, is this Cho?_

[10:22]  ** _yes, sorry, who is this? I don't have the number._**

[10:23]  _I wouldn't assume you would._

[10:24]  _ **sorry?**_

[10:26]  _Oh, you know that bloke you talked to at that party a few weeks ago? Harry?_

[10:27]  _ **yeah?**_  
[10:28]  _**wait is this him? took you long enough, Harry.**_  

[10:29]  _Wait, sorry, I'm not him._  

[10:30]  _ **uh...**_  
[10:31] _**ok?**_  
[10:31]  ** _ who are you? _ **

[10:32]  _Sorry, I'll explain._  
[10:32]  _He texted my number instead of yours the next morning, must've confused the 7 for a 1. He just thought you gave him a fake number._  

[10:33]  ** _so he was trying to text me but got you?_**

[10:34]  _Yeah, big bummer for him, you'd imagine._  
[10:35]  _ I'll text him, if you want? _

[10:36]  ** _um, sure, sounds good. it was a while ago but he was nice, i think. cute at least._**  
[10:37]  **_I'll take you up on that._**  

[10:38]  _Okay, nice to meet you, Cho. Be good to Harry, and all that stuff._

[10:39]  ** _hahaha, you his protector or something?_**

[10:39]  _Hah._  

[10:40]  ** _nice to meet you, sorry, I didn't text your name?_**

[10:41]  _It doesn't really matter._  

[10:42]  ** _oh.. alright. have a nice night!_**

[10:43]  _You too._

-

[11:10] _Hey, Harry_

[11:14] Yeah? 

[11:15] _So, I found Cho..._

[11:17] Cho, the one that got away? That Cho?

[11:17]  _Yes._  

[11:18] The correct number to your incorrect number?

[11:19]  _Yes, your original intended recipient, that Cho._

[11:20] Wait really??

[11:21]  _Yes._

[11:21] How?????

[11:23] _It came to mind that since she was writing on your arm, with you both a bit intoxicated, and you might've read a 7 as a 1. Or she wrote it that way. And it seems I was correct._

[11:24] Holy shit.   
[11:25] SO SHE DIDNT GIVE ME THE WRONG NUMBER 

[11:26] _No she didn't._

[11:27] THE FLIRTING KING. BRILLIANT WHILST DRUNK OR NOT.   
[11:27] I FUCKING ROCK

[11:28]  _I knew I shouldn't have told you._

[11:29] I GOT MY MOJO ALL BACK. 

[11:29]  _Congratulations._

[11:30] HARRY IS BACK. 

[11:31]  _Harry Potter and the royally fucked up 7._

[11:32] Damn straight, snake boy.

[11:32] _Her 7 was about as straight as I am._ __

[11:33] I would flip my hair behind my shoulder if it was long, but it isn't, so I'll settle for just the hand motion. 

[11:34]  _You've been reduced to air-hairflips, I'm not sure this new Harry's a good one._

[11:35] Oh, he's fantastic. I've just been dampened recently.  
[11:36] I'm blaming it to prolonged exposure to Draco Malfoy. 

[11:37] _And I'm not taking responsibility of that._    
[11:38]  _If anyone's accountable, it's you for misreading the number or her for terrible handwriting._

[11:39] My game is intact, man, this is awesome. Was she nice? Does she want me to text her?

[11:40]  _Calm down, and yes to both._

[11:40] Okay, I'm going to! Best wingman award ever goes to you. 

[11:41]  _Oh, okay, thanks._  
[11:41]  _She told me you were cute._

[11:42] She was pissed, but that is true, of course. 

[11:43]  _Of course._

-

[8:15] Stop looking so depressed over there. Don't you like Flitwick?

[8:18]  _Usually. Sorry, I'm good._

[8:19] Draco, gods, he's not dating her. You don't even know if they've texted yet. Calm down.

[8:23] _I'm thinking about the chem test, not Harry._

[8:25] Sure, of course. I definitely think your possessiveness isn't involved here At. All.

-

[9:12] Do you think this is making Snape's desk vibrate right now?  
[9:13] Hahahaha  
[9:13] Hey Snape  
[9:14] Chemistry's SHIT  
[9:14] FUCKING PISS REACTIONS AND TWATS IN LAB COATS IS ALL  
[9:15]  peace out

- 

[10:17]  _What's the McG homework?_

-

[10:31] _Is Draco answering you?_

[10:32] Haha, no. Snape confiscated his phone.

[10:32]  _What? When?_

[10:34] It vibrated during the test. Well, he had it put away, so Snape doesn't think he cheated, but he's not sure when he'll get it back.   
[10:35] His face was hilariously panicked when it happened, according to Patil.  

[10:36]  _When's he going to get it returned?_

[10:37] Who knows, it's Snape. At least he can't possibly work out the mechanics so everything inside is safe.

[10:38]  _Yeah, and good thing he's on Snape's less-than-terrible side._  

[10:39] Or he'd never get it back hahahah.   
[10:40] Snape apparently looked like he was going to walk over just to hit him with a book.

[10:41]  _You mean how he looked at as all last year?_

[10:41] Yes.  
[10:42] I'm just messaging it because gods know Snape wouldn't know how to take it off vibrate. I hope its wholly disrupting the class. 

[10:43]  _How did Draco forget to turn it off?_  

[10:44] No clue, said he didn't know either. He's properly angry about it now, though. 

[10:45]  _I'd imagine._    
[10:45]  _Hey, do you have the McG homework?_

[10:46] No, I'll get Draco's and send it to you. 

[10:46]  _Thanks._  

-

Monday PM

[12:14] Cho? Hey, it's Harry. 

[12:19]  ** _oh hey harry! that person said you'd be getting in touch. nice of you to get back to me haha_**

[12:20] I'm sorry, I must've read it wrong or something and messed up the number. I ended up thinking you wrote down a random one. 

[12:21]  ** _that must've stung your pride._**  

[12:22] Yeah, it did a little bit! 

[12:23]  ** _surprised you did manage to get ahold of someone, though._**  

[12:25] Lucky break, hah. 

[12:26]  ** _and they... found me? how? why?_**

[12:28] Sorta weird story, we kinda became friends from it. I guess he must've thought about it a little, and probably took into account how careless I can be. 

[12:29]  ** _smart guy._**  

[12:29] Irritatingly so.   
[12:30] But yes, I was quite stung.

[12:32]  ** _never been turned down before?_**

[12:33] Oh, many times, just never given a wrong number. 

[12:34]  ** _hahahah._**    
[12:34]  ** _yeah thats a peculiar situation. congrats on your new friend I suppose._**  

[12:35] Thanks, he's cool. 

[12:36]  ** _maybe I should be talking to him._**  

[12:38] Hands off, he's my friend. 

[12:38]  ** _joking, joking._**    
[12:39]  ** _hey Harry?_**

[12:40] Yeah?

[12:41]  ** _you want to meet up sometime? Don't you go to Gryffin High?_**  

[12:43] Yeah, you remember?

[12:44]  ** _you yelled about it, something about your football team. lots of "seekers!!!!"_**

[12:45] Oh, gods, that's embarrassing. We had just won a game against the Ravens though. 

[12:46]  ** _I heard. about six times._**  

[12:48] I'm genuinely mortified, I don't remember that at all. You still gave me your number after that?

[12:49]  ** _you were sweet._**  

[12:49] And fit, right?

[12:50]  ** _of course, very fit._**  

[12:52] Haha, alright, I'd love to meet up! I'll get to re-know you and all from the party. 

[12:53]  ** _the party that was over a month ago, that one?_**

[12:54] Cheeky.   
[12:57] I've got nothing on Thursday...

[12:58]  ** _that sounds good for me as well. I can meet you at Boar's Head at 6ish after I finish up work?_**

[12:58] Sounds great.   
[12:59] So, I'll see you then!

[12:59]  ** _that you will!_**

-

[12:50] I'm sending you what Pavarti's sending me, she was in the class.  
[12:51] "Pavarti: It was hilarious, Pansy."  
[12:51] "Snape's face was absolutely priceless."  
[12:52] "He ignored the first time the phone vibrated, but it was so loud in his desk. So loud. The second was the kicker. I really didn't think he could get any uglier or... scowl-ier."  
[12:53] "I thought he would pop a blood vessel when he eventually moved it to the closet."

[12:55]  _Brilliant._  

[12:56] Wait, did you call him?

[12:56]  _Draco? No?_

[12:57] Apparently, his phone rang, too.   
[12:58] "Pavarti: That was the worst."   
[12:58] "Or best. Definitely best."   
[1:00] Oh my god. 

[1:02]  _What_

[1:04] His phone rang THREE times. 

[1:05]  _You're joking._    
[1:06]  _And he's asking for it back today?_

[1:07] Yeah, he's waiting until the end of the day. 

[1:08]  _Well, give him my luck._  

[1:08] Of course.

-

[2:29] Yo Draco, how'd the test go?

-

[ _ **CALLING HARRY - 2:38**_ ] 

"Dracoooooo--"

" ** _It's Hermione?_** "

"What? Oh, shit. Sorry, I didn't read the caller ID. I just texted him, sorry. What's up, Hermy?"

" ** _Stop calling me that. Is Ron there?_** "

"He's in the shower, why?"

" ** _Ugh, he was going to send me his part of the lab. Can you remind him?_** "

"Sure, sure." 

" ** _You okay? You sound off._** "

"What? Yeah, fine. Draco's not answering."

" ** _I wouldn't think much into it._** "

"I won't, he had that big test today. I don't know. Oh! He found that girl from the party. You know the one who gave me her number but it turned out to be Draco's?"

" ** _The one after the Ravens game?_** "

"Mhm."

" ** _So it wasn't just a random number?_** "

"No, seems not, hah. Actually, we're meeting up."

" ** _You and Draco?_** "

"What? No, no, me and Cho, the girl."

" ** _Oh, that's nice, Harry! When?_** "

"Thursday. I'm not doing anything Thursday, right?"

" ** _Do you expect me to know your schedule, Harry?_** "

"You usually have more of a clue than I do..."

" ** _You haven't mentioned doing anything on Thursday, except practice._** "

"Awesome, Hermione, you're the best."

" ** _I just listen when--_** "

"The best!"

" ** _Fine. Alright. Thank you._** "

"I think it should be fun. I remember her as nice, fun, I think, and pretty."

" ** _Don't go getting all riled up now, Harry._** "

"Oh, shut up. I'm just mentioning it."

" ** _Right, of course. You've never--_** "

"Ron's coming back, you want to talk to him?"

" ** _No, I have to get to debate. Give him my love, though._** "

"What does that even mean? Kiss his hand? Cheek? Song him senseless?"

" ** _Goodbye, Harry._** "

[ ** _CALL DISCONNECTED - 2:46_** ]

-

"Hey, Ron, has Hermione ever mentioned turning this into a triad?"

" **A...WHAT?!** " 

-

[2:50]  _Pans, can we meet in the usual spot?_

[2:52] Yeah, sure. You got your phone back, that's good. 

[2:53]  _Depends. My father was the one calling._

[2:54] Do you want to talk or...?

[2:56]  _Just...sit. I'm skipping miss medium, do you want to meet me?_

[2:57] Okay, okay, I'm heading there.

[2:58]  _Thank you._

[2:59] Who said romance was dead ;)  
[3:03] Okay let me in, I'm outside. 

-

Pansy's bobbed black hair was sprawled against Draco's pale chest, her cheek pressed to his shirt. He was lying back, arm tucked behind his head, humming softly. 

"You're thin," she sniffed. Pansy prodded his protruding hipbone. It didn't worry her, not really; she had lain with him all last year, when he had turned to sharp angles and dull eyes. She watched his descent heavy with inaction, and his previous malnourishment was graphic and fresh in her mind. But he had put weight back on, no longer skipping meals from either working through them or simple stress. 

His chest vibrated with a breathy laugh. "So are you." He poked her ribs and subdued. It was odd being quiet with him. They were both such loud people. Pansy remembered them silencing a room, able to grab attention within a moment. Mind you, they probably did something terribly mean with that attention, but they always had it. She didn't know what to say anymore that wasn't cruel, but Draco had developed a heart and wasn't insulting alongside her. They were still rude--they found that innate and left it--but he'd convinced her to make sure fights were provoked by the other party. They really didn't need anymore trouble. 

Pansy wished for third year, back when Millicent threw a fit after they'd handed out pins proudly stating 'Vote Bulstrode the Toad for VP!" with a horribly edited picture of her with green skin. They found it hysterical, she did not, though she grudgingly forgave them after winning the election. Pansy even wished for first year, after she'd gifted Draco _365 of the World's Cleverest Put-Downs_ for Christmas, which he religiously doled out until Patil had spilled tea on it two days before summer holiday. They were devastated, but the following week she had received a letter from Draco in which he called her seven foul names. The next week brought the same, and the next, and the next. 

"Feeling better?" she asked. 

Draco nodded an affirmative, then realized she couldn't see his movement. 

"Yeah. He's just so... fucking stone-headed." He closed his eyes. 

"Papa Malfoy?"

"He was two of the calls. Twice, and I didn't answer, and now I've got no phone over winter holiday."

"But what about our phone sex?!" Mock-outrage weaved through her voice.

"Going to turn into email-sex, I suppose. Hah. If I'm allowed to lose my laptop. I wouldn't put it past him. I might have to use the Manor computer."

"Did you tell him you were in class? Did he know about the phone-being-taken-away-by-our-wonderful-Professor-Snape thing?"

"Yes, I told him, and no, he doesn't know. He expects me to leave class if he's calling me. Or, at the very least, call right after its out. Since I didn't, no phone for me." 

"That's shit."

He laughed. "Yeah, tell me about it. Would even be better with you than there." They both knew he would very much rather be staying with Pansy again, but she didn't contradict him. 

She was silent for a moment. "Emailing will have to do, I suppose."

"Not much option."

"We can attempt a telepathic link."

"I'm not sure you're mentally advanced enough for that." 

"God, you're a bastard."

"Well..."

"I'm sure Blaise'll write you. So will Harry."

"Blaise texts like he's writing mail, I think his mail'll be in morse." 

"Harry, then." 

"He might."

"Hm?"

"I did just set him up with the girl he was interested in."

"So melodramatic, Draco."

"He called me the 'best wingman ever.'"

"Ahaha, ouch. Your small, gay heart must be so broken. I don't know how you can survive."

"Fuck off."

"Why didn't you just not tell him about the girl, then?"

"Just because I'm a good liar doesn't mean I want to."

"Your newfound conscience tires me."

"Shut up, I just don't feel like lying all the time."

"So you turned to being miserably possessive over someone doing something you could've entirely avoided? Brilliant, Draco."

"I'm not possessive."

"Thought you said you didn't want to lie anymore?"

"I'll only lie to myself."

"Okay, best wingman ever. Draco, do you actually like this boy?"

He responded with a noncommittal noise.  "He's so... wholesome, Pansy. Earnest and shit."

"Keep your pants on."

"Neither of us have had the chance to take them off in a very long time. The downsides of being hated."

"How abysmal our lives have become."

"Don't you have that sixth year trailing you? You must like that. He drools over every word you say."

Pansy scrunched her nose. "He's hideous, Draco. I'd sooner snog Millicent."

"I don't recommend it." He remembered one late-night meeting last year when Pansy was sick and he was depressed and Bulstrode was willing. "She snogs like a spoon stirring stew."

Pansy rolled to her other side and faced Draco, then laughed at his sneer. "What a slut you are."

"You had pneumonia, and back then I really had no self-control to speak of."

"I s'ppose." She rolled back around and noticed Draco's phone was lit. Picking it up, she unlocked it and looked at the messages, using her hand and the hollow of his hip to keep it upright. 

"Blaise asked why we're missing Psych, then he says not to tell him, actually, then he says Trillani doesn't even notice, the quack."

"Hah."

"Your mum says--Christ, Draco, don't get all rigid, it's fine. She says that she'll try to calm your dad."

"Oh."

"Yeah, try to chill your heart will you? My head's fucking throbbing."

"Suck it up. Can you tell her thank you for me?"

"Mhm. 'Thank you, Mother.' Is that cold enough for you?"

"Sounds about right,"

"Ooooooh, then we got lover boy."

"Don't call him that," Draco said, giving the back of her head a withering look. 

"Of course, sorry. Harry."  She put on her deepest voice. "Harry says, 'Yo Draco-' fucking hell, you like a guy who says 'yo,' 'how'd the test go?' Then he said, 'I know what band you'd love,' and  said, 'The Hex Girls,' and _then_ it seems he got annoyed with your lack of replies and said, 'That was a perfectly nostalgic and legitimate joke, where are you?' And that's the end of Harry."

Draco's brows were drawn together briefly. "Do you know who the Hex Girls are?" 

"Fucking hell, Draco. They're from Scooby-Doo."

"How am I supposed to know that?! What are they?"

"A girl band group in the show. They look like vampires."

"Oh. Oh, I get it now. Can you respond sardonically for me?"

"It'd be my pleasure." Pansy tapped her lip. "'As much as I appreciate the recommendation, I'm actually more into guys.' With a winky face."

"You cow."

"Love you, too. I actually do like him. Harry, I mean."

"I could've guessed who you meant. He's alright." 

Pansy would've bet her inheritance that his nose was tilted up. He tended to do that.

"Gross, I've never seen you crush on someone."

"It is not a crush. I don't even know him."

"Draco, he could be uglier than the sixth year who fancies me."

"It's a good thing I don't fancy him, then. You have nothing to worry about."

"C'mon, Draco."

"'C'mon, Draco' my arse."

"Don't make me pout."

"Try not to, it doesn't suit you."

"Hm. Harry didn't respond yet." She frowned at the dark screen. 

"He's probably in class. Speaking of, psychology's over in a few. I can't miss a real class." But neither he nor her moved. 

"You're mad," she declared. 

"What?"

"Bat-shit mad. You decide to like a boy over text message right under your father's big nose."

"Pansy, will you drop it."

"No."

"Then you're getting no emails from me over winter holiday."

"I'm aghast! What would our wholesome, public-schooled friend say!"

"I'm not writing you. Over. Done. End of."

"C'mon. Just teasing."

"Too late."

"You'll change your mind."

"Doubt it."

She went to stand up, leaning heavily on a very sensitive part of him. He yelped. 

"See you, D."

"GOD, Pansy, you are such a bitch," he yelled, just before the door shut behind her. His volume dropped. "And I do fucking like him." 


	7. Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Key: Harry - _Draco_ \- **Ron**  - _**Hermione -**  _Pansy _- Blaise_

[11:31] Draco!!!   
  
[11:33] _Yeah?_  
  
[CALLING DRACO - 11:34]

_"Hello?"_

"Hello!"  
  
 _ **"Hey!"**_  
 **"Yo, Draco!"**  
  
 _"Are those his friends?"_  
"Yeah, I think so."  
  
 **"Is that Blaise?"**  
  
 _"Yes. And Pansy's here."_  
"Bringing the partaaaay."  
  
"Oh, hah. Fantastic. Wait, I guess we should do intros, before this gets any more confusing."  
  
"Salut, I'm Pansy Parkinson. Bringer of the partaaaay."  
 _"Blaise Zabini. Hey."_  
 _"Draco, but I've spoken to you all before."_  
  
 **"Oh, me? I'm Ron! Er, Ron Weasley."**  
 _ **"Hermione Granger, nice to meet you both."**_  
"It's Harry here."  
  
"Granger, Weasel, and Lover Boy, got it."  
  
 **"It's Weasley."**  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Lover Boy?"  
  
"Yes, that's y--Ow, Draco, honestly."  
 _"Why'd you call us?"_  
  
 **"We were bored and it's late. And Harry told us Draco might be up. Didn't expect to get all three you."**

"You finally get to meet the famous friends."

"I've talked to you both a bit."

"Was that the night we were pissed?"

"Yeah. I'm a bit pissed now."

"Same."   
  
**"Same"**   
_**"Same."** _

_"Same."_   
_"Drunkards."_   
"C'mon, Blaise, loosen up."

 _"I have practice early tomorrow, and I'd rather not with a raging headache, thanks."_  
  
 **"You play football?"**  
  
 _"Yeah, midfield."_  
  
 **"Cool, I'm goalie and Harry's forward. You have practice on Sundays?"**  
  
 _"They like to use the fact that we live at school against us."_  
  
 **"That's shit."**  
  
 _"Preaching to the choir."_  
  
 **"Harry, y'know Flint was going to go into everyday practices last year before playoffs?"**  
"Christ, really?"  
 **"Yeah. Took me saying I'd skip them if he did and talk the rest of the team into cutting, too. Truthfully, I might have. Don't ever make me play on weekends, Harry."**  
"I'm never making myself play on weekends, your happiness is just a byproduct."  
 **"I'll take that."**  
  
"Yuck, sports."  
  
"Have to stay in shape somehow."  
  
 _"Yeah, Pans, fatty."_  
"Like you work out at all."  
 _"Natural fitness, aren't we just blessed."_

 **"You are. I think I'd look like a boat if I stopped playing."**  
 _ **"It's Molly's endless food supply.”**_  
"We do have a lot of food, huh?" **  
**_**"Yes. I practically go up a size after eating dinner here."  
**_**"We have to stock up, Herman. Get ripped."**  
_**"I wouldn't call you two 'ripped.'"**_  
"Ouch!"  
**"My honor! My pride!"**  
"Wow!"  
**"We're shamed! I'll never step outside again until my muscles are so large I can't fit into any size shirt. They'll have to custom make it."**  
"Hermanly, could you love such a jacked man?"  
**_"You two are ridiculous_."**  
"Is that a no?"  
**"Herm..."**  
"That's a no, Ron. Wait, I'm buzzed, let's ask Blaise."

 _"That was a no."_  
  
"You got it from the sober fellow. Looks like he has to stay in his current fitness to make you love him."  
 **"Stop controlling my body, Hermie."**  
  
"It's okay, Weasel, I'm sure you're alright."  
  
 **"Thanks, Pansy. It's Weasley."**  
  
"Oops. Draco, what're you doing?"  
 _"Blaise, you're okay, muscle-wise."_  
 _"Stop feeling up my bicep, Draco."_  
 _"I was just checking."_  
"Get your little hands off my man."  
 _"I'm not your man."_  
 _"They're not little!"_  
"Ridiculous. Wait, let me be Granger. Ahem, ridiculous."  
  
 **"Applaudable."**  
"That was actually quite good."  
 _ **"That's not what I sound like!"**_  
"Yes, it is. Do it again."  
  
"Ridiculous!"  
  
 **"Wow."**  
"Commendable."  
 **"I could swear you were our Herm."**

"Thank you. I would bow if I felt like standing."  
  
"Are you in your dorm?"  
  
"No, we're in Prague, Einstein."  
  
"Snappy."  
  
"Yes, we’re in the humble, Malfoy-Zabini abode."  
  
 **"What's it like living in a dorm?"**  
  
 _"Well, I expect about the same as sharing a room."_  
  
 **"Not fun?"**  
"Ron, we have so much fun! Barrels and barrels of good times."  
 **"Sure, Harry."**  
"That doesn't sound too enthusiastic."  
**"It isn't."**  
"I... Well, now I can't wait for university and getting a new roommate."  
**_"Your room's horrible, I feel sorry for whoever's rooming with you both in university_."**  
"It's all Ron's stuff!"  
**"No, it ain't! It's all yours!"**  
"No. Hermione?"  
_**"Ron, it is mostly you. But Harry don't look like that, you're not without fault."**_  
"Hah!"  
**"It's partly you."**  
"It's all your fanboy football stuff. Posters and all, one of which is on what's supposed to be _my_ side."  
**"Only two! And we all love Krum!"**  
"No, that's also mostly you."

 _ "He's a great player. Good pick if you're going to have any on your wall." _   
  
**"See, Blaise appreciates him."**

_"Why do I know that name?"_

_**"He's the Durmstrang captain."** _

_"Oh... That doesn’t help me."_

_“I took you both to a game.”  
“And we should know every player now?”_  
"Is he hot?"  
_"He’s--"_   
"I wasn't asking you. You called Creevey “objectively decent” when he looks like a blonde mouse, so I no longer trust your opinion. Potter, this Krum hot?"

"I mean, he looks good in the posters. Then again, anyone can look good in a poster. I think he was, though."

"Hm.”  
_“You think Mr. Bean could look good in a poster?"  
_

"What?"

_"Well, you said anyone."_

"I don't know."  
  
 _"You said--"_  
  
"Maybe in the right lighting, I suppose."  
  
 _ **"He was attractive."**_  
"Mr. Bean?!"  
 _ **"No! Viktor."**_  
"Ron, it's so strange you have posters of him."  
 **"Hermy was a free lady. I'm keeping my posters."**  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Hermione and Krum went out."  
 ** _"We went to dinner. Once."_**  
  
 _"Really?!"_  
" _This is the most excited I've ever heard Blaise get._ "  
 _"With Krum?"_  
  
 ** _"Yes, he was nice. Ron dragged Harry and I to a game and I ran into him after. It was no big deal, really."_**  
 **"It was Krum! He's looking to be drafted by the best team in the league."**  
"Ron's got a bit of a crush on him."  
  
 _"I think Mr. Bean is too odd-looking."  
_ "Draco, shut up."  
_"That mole looks like it belongs on my gran’s arse."_  
"Oh my god. Do your pondering quietly, please."

**"One of my posters is limited edition, too! Am I supposed to just throw that away?!"**

“Ye--”

**“Like you're all doing with my feelings right now?!”  
** “And those aren’t even limited edition!”

"Ha!"

"Your posters are weird, always will be."  
 **"So it would be less weird if it was a player Hermione hasn't eaten dinner with?"**  
"Yes."  
 **"... Then he wouldn't be Krum. I don't care, I like my posters and you're a git."**  
  
 _"I think if you tweezed his eyebrows."_  
  
"The hell?"  
  
 _"What?"_  
 _"Mr. Bean. You can hide the mole with a profile picture, but his eyebrows are fucking horrific. I bet I could get a decent photo if I could tweeze his eyebrows."_   
"Congratulations, you've thought way too much about this."  
 _"Thank you."_  
"Get off my lap."  
 _"No, I'm tired. Ouch, fine."_  
"You're constantly tired."  
 _"You really are."_  
  


 **"Harry would know, keeping me up late texting you all the bloody time."**  
"I do not!"  
  
"Awwwww, how nauseatingly adorable."  
 _"Sod off, Pansy."_  
 _"It's true, I've got to listen to Draco's phone vibrating when I'm trying to sleep."_  
 _"I can't very well put it on silent, can I?"_  
 _"Yes, you can."_  
 _"But then I could miss something."_  
 _"And the fucking world would implode?"_  
 _"Theoretically, my phone could be saying there’s an emergency and we need to leave the area, but I miss it because my it's on silent and we die."  
_ “You think the school would evacuate without any other warning than a text message?”  
_“It may not be a perfect example, I admit."_

**"Wouldn't they announce it?"**

"Hah, our school looks like it was built in the Stone Age, we're lucky to have the occasional phone."  
_"And those were only added a decade ago."  
_ _“Twelve. It was five years before we got here.”_

“How do you know the year your school installed phones?”

 _“Hogwarts: A History, volume 3, updated edition.”  
_ "Fucking nerd."  
_"It was assigned reading."  
_ "Fucking nerd."

_**"So, your school doesn't have landlines but is tech-savvy enough to have a text-reminder system?"** _

_"We like to do things backwards, what can we say."_   
"As if they've ever used the reminder shit we sign into every year. I'm not even convinced it works." _  
"I'm sticking with my example."_

_**"Like a captain going down with his ship..."** _

_"Or a captain simply navigating admittedly murky waters but getting through it."  
" Instead of becoming a sailor, how about turning your phone to silent."  
"The day you find me as a fucking pirate king is the day I'll turn off vibrate."_

"You guys swear a lot for people who are supposed to be all dignified."  
  
"You should meet my father if you want dignified. Oh, or better yet, meet Lucius bloody Malfoy."

_**"I'm assuming related to Draco?"** _

"Very astute, Granger. Really incredible deduction. Geni--"  
_"--Yes, he's my dad. Pans, stop being such an arse."  
_ "I'll do that the moment you become ‘a fucking pirate king.’ But, yes Granger, Mr. Malfoy. Or try Draco's and my parents together.  
_'Ahem, is Ms. Parkinson enjoying her supper?'"  
_ "'Oh, she finds it wonderful, I'm sure. We've been expanding our palates to prepare for the eighteen courses."'  
_"'I'm so pleased. And etiquette lessons are going well, I'm correct in assuming?'”  
_ "'Yes, yes, seven days a week. I apologize profusely for last time. Can't let her use the wrong fork again. It was embarrassing for the entire family.."'  
_'"Children are so difficult to discipline, I understand. It's that Hogwarts, they're beginning to think for themselves."  
__'_ "Smacking it out of them barely suffices!"'  
_'"What the world has come to, where my son doesn't know the life story of every billionaire in London."'  
_ '"And my daughter can't name every one of their eligible sons!"'  
_'"Oh, the salad is coming. Ms. Parkinson, it's the outside fork."'  
_ '"Cheers to fine china and awful vintages!"'  


**"... Shit, they actually like that?"**

_"Close to it, sadly."_  
  
 _ **"Is swearing your teenage rebellion?"**_  
  
"..."  
 _"Pansy also likes to talk back, on occasion. It's very funny. Ow!--Okay, no, it isn't… Yes it is and stop hitting me! You're going to bruise my arm, and that's not very dignified."_  
"You're not very dignified!"  
 _"Yes, I am!"_  
"Hardly."  
  
 **"He sounds sort of dignified."**  
  
"No, Blaise is dignified. Draco's... I don't know."  
  
"Describe Draco in one word."  
  
"... Stroppy."  
 _"Pale."_  
"Bitchy."  
 _"A--"_  
 _"Okay! He said one word! Thanks, love you both. Let's do Pansy now."_  
 _"Hypersexual?"_  
 _"Good one. I think you claim the bitchy title better than I do."_  
“Maybe.”

_**"You two must be a pair."** _

"Needs must, Weasel. Needs must."  
  
 **"Weasley."**  
  
"'Course. Do Granger."  
  
 **"I already am--CHRIST, ouch, Hermione. Joking, joking."**  
  
"So you're _not_ doing Granger?"  
  
 **"I am... going to remain silent... in hopes of not offending my lovely, lovely girlfriend whom I adore."**  
  
"Okay, then, your turn, Potty."  
  
"Me?"

"Yes, Harry Potter, you're up to bat. One word, romantics."

_**"Your hair's quite scruffy. Scruffy?"**_  
 **"Chavish."**  
"Don't even joke about that."  
 **"He's wearing fake designer clothes right now."**  
"I am not!"  
 **"Backwards cap."**  
"Am no--"  
 **"Shh. Don't believe him. I'm telling it true."**  
"It's a lie."

_"Harry Potter and the backwards cap."_

"Shut up! I don’t!"  
  
 _"Sure, sure."_

“This is a dirty lie to ruin my reputation.”

“So you own no jewelry? Fake, specifically.”

“Not as far as I know. Oh, I have a watch.”

 _“I believe him.”  
_ “I believe him, too.”

“You believe I have a watch?”

“Did your voice just crack?”

“… It’s late… I’m tired… I finished puberty, I swear.”

“Draco, you’re texting a fourteen year old.”

“I’m a normally-matured seventeen year old, not to mention I have a deeper voice than Draco.”

“Shit… Draco, how old are you?”  
_“Hm? Oh, fourteen.”  
_ “Wow, I would’ve never guessed with us being in the same grade since childhood.”  
_“I was eight in first year.”  
_ “And how are you so much taller than me?”  
_“I think that has more to do with how small you are than how tall I am.”_

“Wait, how tall are you?”

“Me or the fourteen year old?”

“Both.”

“I’m 5’2.”

“So small!”

“Shut up. Draco’s six foot.”  
_“A inch shy, but, for simplicity sake, yeah.”  
_

“Damn.”

_“What?”_

“I wanted to be taller.”

_“How tall are you?”  
_

“I think 5’8"-5'9".”

“So small!”

“Shut up. I’m, like, six inches taller than you.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re stronger than Draco.”  
_“I don’t think it’s very hard to be.”  
_ “You’re like a mobile stick, like one of those green bug shits that freak me out.”

“A praying mantis?”

“An albino praying mantis.”  
_“Thanks, Pans.”  
_ “I’m just telling it like it is.”

“You guys don’t even sound like friends with the stuff you say.”

 _“It’s an intense love-hate relationship.”  
_ “We love each other so much we’re able to be shitty and it be okay.”  
_“Blaise is…”_

“Nicer?”

_“No…”  
“Thanks.”  
“No… not… You aren’t as mean, but I don’t think you love us more or less because of it.”_

“As if being nicer to you two would mean he liked you less.”

“Is that not how it works?"  
_"Pans, you should've been my nemesis, then."  
_ "But then we'd never win any couple competitions."  
_"Fuck, true."_

"Couple competitions?"

"Y'know, homecoming king and queen. The like."  
_"They've won it every year and have never gone a month without mentioning it. It's very important apparently."_

"I don't even think we have a competition before senior year."  
_**"Only for senior year homecoming and prom."**_

"That's not as much fun. Then you can only get a streak of two."

"We manage to survive."

_"You looking to win?"_

"Not really."

_"Captain of the football team? Please, you're a shoe-in."_

"I didn't win homecoming, how is prom supposed to be different."

_"You were campaigning, idiot."_

"I also have no one to run with."

 _"You can run alone. Or just double up with Pans."  
_ "Do I really have to be beards for two kids."  
_"If anything I'm your beard."  
_ "Harry, get yourself the head cheerleader, that always works."  
_"HAH."  
_ "What?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all..."

"I despise inside jokes. Fuck you both."  
_"That's the opposite of what beards do."  
_ "Sod off."

"On that note, I should go. Hermione and Ron are falling asleep on each other."

"Party-ruiners."

_"Pretty much. Ugh this means I have to help sheet a bed for Hermione. Yeah, I need to head."_

_"Alright. See you, Harry."_

"Bye, Draco, Pansy, Blaise. Draco, I'll text you tomorrow or something."

 _"Sounds good."  
_ "Tell Granger and Weasel see ya for us."

"Will do, will do."  
  
[CALL ENDED - 12:01]  
  
-  
  
"Awww, he just made plans to text you tomorrow. How c--Ow! Why the hell are your elbows so sharp?"

_"Specifically only to fight you when you're annoying."_

"I'm honoured."


	8. Extensions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Key: Harry - _Draco_ \- **Ron**  - _**Hermione -**  _Pansy _- Blaise_

[4:13] POTTER   
  
[4:17] Sorry, who is this?   
  
[4:19] It's Pansy. I talked to you last night.    
  
[4:20] Oh, hey! And yes, you did.   
[4:21] Why'd you call me by my last name?   
  
[4:24] I do it for everyone, and Draco said 'Lover Boy' isn't acceptable when I'm sober.    
  
[4:25] I guess my surname's preferable to that.    
[4:25] And how'd you get my number?   
  
[4:27] I memorized it from Draco's phone. 

[4:28] Last night?

[4:29] Yes.

[4:30] Drunk?

[4:30] Always.

[4:31] And you can remember a phone number?

[4:33] Kid, I can do anything drunk. I once convinced my father to let me go on vacation with Blaise that very night whilst completely plastered.

[4:35] Don’t call me kid, but impressive.

[4:36] Okay, Potter it is.

[4:38] I still hate the Hogwarts surname fetish you all seem to have.

[4:41] Don’t tell our parents it’s a Hogwarts thing, they for some reason want us to have a Hogwarts-knowledge-free Hogwarts education.

[4:42] They really despise it so much?

[4:43] Only what it’s become. They’re purists, you might say.

[4:44] From all your descriptions of your parents that sounds like a not-so-ideal thing.

[4:47] I don’t really care. Whatever favors me is fine with me.

[4:49] Interesting philosophy.

[4:50] I’m assuming you don’t agree?

[4:53] I try to be as least selfish as possible as often as I can, so, no, not really.

[4:55] Tsk, tsk, Potter, haven’t taken economics have you? Haven’t learned the fascinating foundation of modern world structure being based on individual selfishness?

[4:55] No, I guess not.

[4:57] That’s fine. If you want to suddenly truly devote yourself to selflessness and have any large assets you want in safe hands, I’m here for you.

[4:58] So sweet Pansy thank you.  
[4:59] Oh, why did you contact me in the first place?

[5:02]  Oh, right.   
[5:03] Do you know why Draco’s being a bitch?   
  
[5:04] What?   
[5:04] No?   
[5:05] He is?   
  
[5:07] Yes. Even more so than usual.   
[5:08] I thought maybe you'd know. He hasn't told me or Blaise why.   
  
[5:10] Sorry, no, I don't.    
[5:13] Hope he snaps out of it for you, he's snarky enough naturally.    
  
[5:14] I agree. Thanks anyways, Harry.    
  
[5:15] Course    
[5:16] Wait, Pansy!   
  
[5:17] Yeah?   
  
[5:17] So, um.    
[5:18] It's none of my business, but his dad?   
  
[5:20] The kindhearted, caring, wonderful, fatherly Lucius Malfoy?   
  
[5:23] Yeah. I was just wondering if he was okay, you know.    
[5:24] You don't have to tell me, but he just seems awful. My aunt and uncle were awful, I could relate.    
  
[5:24] Draco's fine, Harry. Lucius is a twat, but I've counter-influenced his son enough to offset the worst of it.    
  
[5:25] Oh, haha.    
[5:25] That's good.    
[5:25] He just told he clears his phone and all, that's pretty intense.    
  
[5:26] That's the Malfoy way.   
[5:27] Getting it taken away is pretty common, as well.    
  
[5:27] Yeah, he told me about holiday.    
[5:28] Clears the photos, too?    
  
[5:29] Yeah.   
[5:30] He doesn't want picture evidence of anything his dad wouldn't like.    
  
[5:30] Oh, I gotcha.   
[5:31] He told me you snipe him, though, sometimes?   


[5:31] Yep.   
[5:33] WAIT   
[5:33] YOU WANT TO SEE HIM   
  
[5:34] I mean, I guess?   
[5:34] I was just curious, he said it was alright.    
[5:36] You don't have to!    
[5:38] I was just wondering, it really doesn't matter!   
  
[5:39] Ahahah, you're precious, Potter.   
  
[5:39] Shut up.    
  
[5:39] Let me check.   
[5:41] Damn I only have one.    
[5:41] HAHAHA BUT A GREAT ONE IT IS!   
[5:42] Okay, he'd want me to tell you that these are my clothes he's wearing because he lost a bet and he isn't usually this colorful.   
  
[5:42] He's wearing your clothes??   
[5:43] Why?   
  
[5:47] Yeah, the week leading up to him staying at mine during winter holiday last year we bet each other that we could kiss more people than the other could, and if I won he'd have to leave his dreary clothes at home and wear mine for the entire break.   
[5:49] Luckily for me, there was a girls-only party in the south tower which turned into a snog-fest. By the end of that night, I was properly pissed and he was properly pissed off.   
  
[5:49] And you won?   
  
[5:50] And I won.    


[5:50] Congrats on the win.   
[5:57] … Um, can I see?   
  
[5:58] OH, shit, thought I sent it.    
[5:58] Ready to see lover boy, Lover Boy?

[IMAGE SENT TO POTTER]

  
-   
  
[6:00] Oh my god.   
  
[6:01] _**What?**_

  
-   
  
[6:01] Oh my god.   
  
[6:02] What?   
  
-   
  
[6:04] **_Why’d you stop answering? What?_**   
  
[6:05] Draco is um   
[6:05] Attractive?  
[6:06]  I /think/.   
  
[6:06] **_Oh my god._ **   
  
-   
  
[6:04] Oh, the dogs?   
[6:05] Yeah, some woman let him feed treats to her dogs. He was quite enamored.   
  
[6:07] Right, yeah. Haha   
  
-   
  
[6:08] _**What does he look like?**_   
  
[6:10] Pale, he wasn’t lying.  
[6:11]  White/blonde hair, um, thin?   
[6:13] He definitely does not look like a tree.    
  
[6:14] _**How red are you right now?**_

[6:15] I’m completely cool.

[6:15] _**Mhm.**_

[6:16] COMPLETELY

[6:16] _**Mhm.**_

[6:16] COOL

[6:17] _**Mhm.**_

[6:18] Shut up..

-   
  
[6:12] So, what do you think?   
  
[6:15] Of what?   
  
[6:16] Draco, you idiot.   
[6:17] Hmmmmmmm?   
  
-   
  
[6:19] I don't know how to respond...   
[6:20] I didn't think this through.    
  
[6:20] **_You rarely do._ **   
  
-   
  
[6:20] Does he dye his hair?   
  
[6:21] No, the Malfoys pass down money and blondness.   
[6:22] C'mon, Potter, give me a rating.    
[6:23] Potter?   
  
[CALLING POTTER - 6:23]   
  
"What is it? I'm not going to rate him."   
  
"Aw, Potter. You sound so cute."   
  
"Shove off."   
  
"Did he not tell you his general appearance?"   
  
"No, no, he didn't."   
  
"Oh, hah. He's pretty good, yeah?"   
  
"Well, er, I mean, I guess. It's a profile shot so, christ, I don't know. Sure? You know better than me."   
  
"He’s pretty good. Not as good as me, mind you, but pretty good. Most attractive bloke in our school, I think.”

“Oh.”

“I'm the most attractive girl, we're a good pair."

"Do you have to have maids help lift your head?"   
  
"I'm just being honest, Potter. He was second until Wood left past year. Wood was fucking king. Same with me and that Greengrass who graduated. I'm being chased by her younger sister, who showed up to school with a fantastic rack and fixed hair, but I think I can stay ahead if she keeps that gap."   
  
"I...see?"   
  
"I'm pretty objective about it, is what I'm saying."   
  
"O-oh. Right, got you."   
  
"Potter, you're practically squeaking."   
  
"I am not squeaking! I just didn't know what to expect. I was just surprised, alright. Shut up."   
  
"He's going to be furious that's the photo you saw, I can't wait."   
  
"I can't believe you made him wear your clothing for a week and this is the first I've heard of it."   
  
"Draco tried to forget about that aspect of the vacation. He stretched out my skinny jeans during, though. Had to buy a whole new pair."   
  
"I'm sorry for your loss."   
  
"Oh, and his arse looked very decent in them, I know you were wondering."   
  
"Why would I be thinking about the decency of Draco's arse in your jeans?”   
  
"Damn, you really must be straight as a rail. OH, speaking definitely not of, here's our favorite ponce."   
  
"Draco?"   
  
"Yes. I forget to mention I was meeting him?"   
  
"Yep."   
  
"I am quite forgetful. Draco!"   
_ "Hey. What's going on?"   
_ "Harry thinks you're mightily fit."   
_ "What?"   
_   
"Oh my god. Don't TELL him th--"   
  
"Harry, you're on speaker."   
  
"Oh, then I DIDN'T SAY THAT."   
  
_ "What did you do?"   
_ "Nothing, nothing. Just showed him a photo."   
_ "Of me?"  
_ "No, of my tits. Stop being so dense."  
_ "Christ, you actually had some? I thought--"   
_ "No, only one."   
_ "I..."   
_ "Draco Malfoy speechless, let me savor this moment."   
_ "What was I doing... What was it?"   
_ "It's from winter break." _   
_ _ "Please tell me I wasn't wearing your clothing."   
_ "You were."   
_ "You cow."   
_ "Don't be shy, Drac--Hey!"   
_ "Harry? You still on the line? I took Pansy's phone."   
_   
"Yeah, I'm here. Sorry about asking Pansy to see the photo."   
  
_ "No, no, don't worry about it. I mean, I said you could, though I can't believe it's me in her clothing. Everything was too bright and too tight."   
_   
"You looked super stylish."

_“There was so much pink.”_

“Pink’s nice.”

_“In moderation. I don’t even know where she found it. Pansy’s been monochrome since birth.”_

“I hope she bought clothes just to make you wear it.”

_“It was awful.”_

“I liked your look.”

_ "Don't tell her that, she'll try to do it again." _   
  
"She did say you ruined her jeans."   
  
_ "It's not my fault she has no arse." _   
  
"Well, okay. Also, your hair's white."   
  
_ "Blondish-white, yes. Why?"   
_   
"You never mentioned it. It's just really, um, distinguishing. Like, mentionable, I s'ppose."   
  
_ "You never said your hair color." _   
  
"Because it's not rare, or strange--wait, not that your hair is strange--or anything. It's black and messy. Very messy."   
  
_ "Scruffy?" _   
  
"Right, Hermione, yes."

_ "You did say she's generally right." _

"Not generally, always."

_ "Right, right, apologies. Always. Hm, black and scruffy. We are true opposites." _   
  
"Yeah, seems so."   
  
_ "Pansy used to call me Hair Gel, on account of my having to be sent a new jar of it every other month." _   
  
"Don't say you slicked it back, don't say you slicked it back, don't say--"   
  
_ "I slicked it back." _   
  
"Sounds... fetching, Draco."   
_   
"I can assure you it was not." _

"When did that end? Who killed it?"

_"5th year was life-changing. I suppose I do have Pansy to thank for that, she hid my gel and I let her 'do' my hair."_

"She ended the slick-back? Tsk."   
  
_ "She did." _   
  
"Shame. Hey, Draco?”   
  
_"Mhm?"_   
  
"Okay, I'm not sure how to say this without sounding...whatever... I thought you were kidding about that whole, er, good-looking thing? But you kinda are."   
  
_ "... Thanks Harry for the most awkward compliment I’ve ever received." _   
  
"I told you I didn't know how to say... Ugh."   
  
_ "Haha. Thank you, I try to look okay." _   
  
"Um, yeah, you, uh, you’re doing... that. I need to stop."   
  
_ "No, please keep trying to flatter me, it's hysterical."   
_   
"I'm done. I'm done. I feel like I’m never more embarrassing than when I’m talking to you.”

_“I just bring out something special in you.”_

“Piss off."

_"You curse at me when I'm right."_

"...Fuck you."

_"Hah, clever."_

"Blimey, I actually have to go, though."

_ "Oh. Right. I forgot." _   
  
"Me, too! Finally seeing the face of a long-distance friend isn't something I do everyday."   
  
_ "You've been blessed." _   
  
"AND find out he's the palest guy I've ever seen. A remarkable experience."   
_   
"I would applaud if I wasn't holding a phone." _   
  
"I'm sorry, I do have to meet Cho. I should've left five minutes ago, in fact."   
  
_ "Right. I'll talk to you later then, I guess."   
_   
"Yup, see you!"   
  
-   
  
[6:28] **_Harry!_**   
[6:32] **_You can't just stop answering!_**   
  
[6:40] Pansy called me, I'm sorry. Then, I talked to Draco, and now I'm trying to make it to my date, so I can't talk.    
  
[6:41] **_What's he like?????_**   
[6:41] **_HARRY, come on! Just a little!_**   
[6:42] _**Please!**_   
  
[6:43] I told you already!   
  
[6:43] **_All you said was that he was blond and pale!_**   
  
[6:44] I don't know, Herm.   
[6:45] Here.    
  
[IMAGE SENT TO HERMAN]   
  
[6:48] **_Oh, looks to maybe be attractive. I think you're overreacting what with the angle of the shot being how it is. You can't see much_** **_, but from this picture he looks good._ **   
  
[6:49] Yeah, I got that.    
  
[6:50] **_He dresses interestingly._ **   
  
[6:51] Long story, but those are Pansy's clothes.    
  
[6:52] _**Hahaha.** _   
[6:53] **_He kind of looks like his voice sounds, I think._ **   
  
[6:55] Why do you keep saying that stuff like that, I have no clue what you mean.   
  
[6:55] **_You're hopeless, Harry._ **   
[6:56] **_Go to your date, but I expect a full run-down tonight._ **   
  
[6:57] Shit, right, I'm going. And fine. 


	9. Pasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Key: Harry - _Draco_ \- **Ron**  - _**Hermione -**  _Pansy _- Blaise_ \- _**Cho**_

Tuesday PM

[6:44] _**hey im pulling up**_  
  
[6:46] Same!  
[6:46] Oh, I think I see you. I'll meet you at the door.  
  
[6:47] **_sounds good!_**  
  
-  
  
[7:04] She's so quiet.  
  
[7:05] _Cho?_  
  
[7:05] Yeah   
[7:05] Not bad-quiet!  
[7:06] Just quiet. Nice.  
  
[7:07] _Oh, hah.  
_ [7:07] _I'm sure your eloquent control of language is able to carry the conversation._  
  
[7:08] Sarcasm?  
  
[7:08] _Yes._  
  
[7:08] Hey, I'm not that awful.  
  
[7:08] _No, you're not._  
[7:09] _Pansy insists you stop texting me and talk to your date._  
  
[7:09] She's in the toilet!  
  
[7:09] _Oh, okay._  
  
[7:09] You don't seem to mind, why does Pansy?  
  
[7:10] _I'm an attention whore and she manages me._  
  
[7:10] Oh  
  
[7:10] _Also, she says I'm doing the same to her right now._  
  
[7:11] You're on a date?  
  
[7:11] _We're eating lunch, but she's incredibly set about my paying attention to her during._  
  
[7:11] I’m staaaaaaarving, Draco, but I had to wave off the waiter because she’s not back yet.  
[7:12] I’m FAMISHED.  
[7:12] You’re supposed to answer when I use posh words.  
[7:12] You’re leaving me to die.

[7:13] _Am I supposed to send you food?_

[7:13] Yes. Teleport it or something.

[7:14] _Sorry, Harry, you’ve been reading too much fiction. You’ll eat when you eat.  
_ [7:14] _Pansy’s staring me down._

[7:14] :(  
  
[7:14] _You're on a date, don't frown at me._  
  
[7:15] Fine. Enjoy your meal.  
  
[7:15] _I'm reading that as sarcasm but from what I know about you..._

[7:16] Oh, no, it wasn’t.  
[7:16] So cynical, Draco.  
  
[7:16] _Hah, yeah. Thank you. You have fun._  
  
[7:17] Thanks!  
  
-  
  
_"You see, he's way too nice for me besides."_  
  
"I don't disagree with you."   
  
_"But I'm hot."_  
  
"Eh, you're fine. Can we order? I'm starved."   
  
_"I thought we were waiting for Blaise?"_  
  
"If you'd been listening to me, you'd know he said practice was going late."   
  
_"Oh. Sorry. Let’s eat."_  
  
"Honestly, where's our goddamn waiter?"   
  
-  
  
[7:28] _Didn't we find out you're not great at dressing yourself?_  
  
[7:32] ...  
[7:32] Maybe.  
[7:32] Why?  
  
[7:34] _I'm interested to hear what you chose as date attire._  
  
[7:35] I didn't.  
[7:35] My friend Luna told me what to do.  
  
[7:36] _Oh my god._  
  
[7:36] What?  
  
[7:37] _Just that you called your friend to pick out your outfit._  
  
[7:39] Well, yes.  
[7:39] I'm hopeless at outfits.  
[7:40] I think I look alright.  
  
[7:42] _Now I really do want to know what Luna told you to wear._  
  
[7:43] Oh, wait, I have a picture. She said she had to make sure I would "get the girl."  
  
[7:43] _Christ._

  
  
-  
  
"What're you looking at? Lemme see--Oh, is that Lover Boy? Hah, it is."  
  
-  
  
[7:45] _I can't believe you're wearing sweatpants to a date._  
  
[7:46] Luna said then when she isn't dressing me it isn't so dramatic a change.  
  
-  
  
"Tell him to send a bloody selfie with his face in it already."   
  
_"No, shut up."_  
  
"Ugh, why not, D?"   
  
_“Do not call me 'D' ever."_  
  
"C'mon. I'm curious. Aren't you curious?"   
  
_"I don't know. I'd rather see him in person I suppose. Fun mystery, besides."_  
  
"The suspense will kill me."   
  
_"The world can only hope."_  
  
-  
  
[7:50] _I guess that does make an off sort of sense._  
  
[7:52] That's Luna for you.  
[7:52] Now that I think about, you two have basically the same colouring.  
  
[7:53] _Calling me pale, Potter?_  
  
[7:54] Yes.  
[7:54] And she has white-ish hair.  
[7:55] Though your personalities couldn't be more opposite.  
  
[7:57] _Am I the anti-Luna?_  
  
[7:58] Just maybe.  
  
[7:59] _How fun. I've never really met someone who looked much like me._  
  
[8:00] Your brethren.  
  
[8:00] _If that's what you want to call them._  
[8:01] _When I was young I really wanted to get tan in the summer, but only ended up with very bad sunburn._  
[8:01] _White hair and a tan don't go together anyway._  
  
[8:02] Yikes. I don't really burn.  
  
[8:02] _You look kind of tan. Compared to me. If that picture isn't a catfish._  
  
[8:03] Hah, I am planning on meeting you someday.  
  
[8:04] _That's what all the catfishes say._  
  
[8:04] Had a lot of experience?  
  
[8:06] _My last twelve relationships were pretty unlucky._  
  
[8:06] Hahaha

[8:08] _Nice phone case, by the way._

[8:08] Thanks

[8:09] _School mascot?_

[8:09] …  
[8:09] Fuck off.

[8:10] _I said NOTHING mean._

[8:10] Well, you would have. 

[8:11] _I wasn't positive it was your mascot, but you have mentioned it was a lion._  
[8:11] _I might've said something._  
  
[8:13] Knew it.  
  
[8:13] _Interesting socks, too._  
  
[8:14] Thanks.  
[8:15] Luna told me to do it.  
[8:15] It feels a bit silly, but they're already like that.  
  
[8:15] _GET BACK TO YOUR DATE, POTTER, DON'T BE AN ARSE._  
  
[8:15] Sorry, sorry. Right.  
  
[8:16] _That was Pansy, but you probably should._  
  
[8:16] Sorry, yeah.  
  
-  
  
"Don't give me that look, he was being rude."   
  
_"You're constantly rude."_  
  
"I'm also a hypocrite.”

_“I want to talk to him.”_

“No, you're just being jealous and trying to sabotage their date.”

_“That is not true.”_

“Hey, you going to eat that?"  
  
_"No, go ahead."_  
  
-  
  
[8:40] _How'd your date go?_  
  
[8:43] Good! She's really nice.  
  
[8:44] _That's good._  
  
[8:44] Oh, you came up.  
  
[8:45] _In conversation?_  
  
[8:46] Yeah. I mean I just told her how we became friends and stuff.  
  
[8:46] _I'm honored, thank you._  
  
[CALLING DRACO - 8:46]  
  
"This is so much easier. Hey. You're home or something, right?"  
  
_"I'm in my room, yeah. Blaise is at practice."_  
  
"Okay, cool. Oh, but don't worry, I didn't betray your deepest secrets."  
  
_"What a fantastic friend you are, Harry. How did I possibly get so lucky?"_  
  
"I really don't know. She didn't know who you were at first because apparently you didn't tell her your name?"  
  
_"Well I didn't think I'd talk to her again."_  
  
"I guess I get that."  
  
_"Actually, I didn't even think I'd really talk to you again either after that night."_  
  
"What? Why? Me?"  
  
_"I thought after you started talking to your, uh, intended recipient, you might--"_  
  
"Ditch you? Hah, Draco, honestly?"  
  
_"Well, I just figured--"_  
  
"Sorry I keep cutting you off, but no? You're supposed to be the smart one out of us two."  
  
_"I really don't think that's true, and it made sense to me at the time. You were trying to contact her all along."_  
  
"I think at this point you've become more than a wrong number."  
  
_"Are you in an awful romance movie?"_  
  
"I wish, maybe you'd be nicer."  
  
_"No chance in hell."_  
  
"Such a charmer."  
  
_"Bet your arse I am. I'm one of England's most eligible."_  
  
"Wow, thanks for carving a bit of time out of your schedule to talk to lil' ol’ me."  
  
_"Not as mean as you thought, hm?"_  
  
"You've redeemed yourself a bit. How can you be an eligible bachelor at 18?"  
  
_"17."_  
  
"That seems even more wrong as a minor."  
  
_"I was joking."_  
  
"Thank god, I never know with you."  
  
_"Though now that I think about it..."_  
  
"Exactly how traditionalist is your family?"  
  
_"Until I was eleven, I practically grew up in the 40s. Other kids were a bit of a... culture shock."_  
  
"Right, slicked-back-hair Draco."  
  
_"Don't remind me. Family portraits will suffice."_  
  
"I wish I'd been there to make fun of you."  
  
_"You'd bully me for my hair?"_  
  
"No, not bully."  
  
_"What would you call making fun of my hair when I'm only a young child with no fashion sense."_  
  
"Teasing!"  
  
_"Teasing."_  
  
"Loving teasing."  
  
_"Of course."_  
  
"You sound unconvinced."  
  
_"I'm pretty sure teasing includes being friends."_  
  
"Are we not?"  
  
_"Well, now we are, but I wasn't the most likable kid."_  
  
"I find that... very believable."  
  
_"Git."_  
  
"Grown-up git."  
  
_"Touché… How'd you convince a girl to go on a date with you."_

“Incredible levels of charm.”

_“Right of course. How was it though?”_

“The date?”

_“Yeah.”_

"I told you she was quiet."  
  
_"I hope that wasn't the only thing you gathered during the whole night."_  
  
"No!"  
  
_"Fine, fine."_  
  
"It was good. I don't know if I like her like that, though."  
  
_"Like that?"_  
  
"Like like like."  
  
_"I need more inflection for that to make any sense."_  
  
"Like... like-like ."  
  
_"Ah, I got it that time. Hm?"_  
  
"She's nice, but… I don’t know. In all honesty she didn’t seem very into me."  
  
_"How do you know?"_  
  
"It just felt like mates hanging out."  
  
_"Maybe it was?"_  
  
"I think so."  
  
_"Good, she's way too good for you."_  
  
"Hey!"  
  
_"Kidding, I’m sure you were perfectly lovely. But you did text on your date."_  
  
"I texted you! Only for a little bit."  
  
_"I'm flattered, but it's still not the greatest date etiquette."_  
  
"I usually don't."  
  
_"I really must be special."_  
  
"You are one of England's most eligible."  
  
_"Very true, Potter. Very true."_  
  
"That does make it sound like you're the lead in one of those old novels or shows."  
  
_"About needing to marry in elite circles to further my family's relevance and power?"_  
  
"I literally never know when you're joking."  
  
_"Sarcasm. But there is this wealthy widow my father would love me to impregnate."_  
  
"No, stop. I draw the joking line at your mention of heirs."  
  
_"Don't worry, Pansy was Father's top pick. Her family goes nearly as far back as ours."_  
  
"You two are so close, it'd seem like siblings."  
  
_"Who doesn't love some almost incest?"_  
  
"Everyone."  
  
_"Tell that to George RR Martin."_  
  
"This isn't some fantasy novel."  
  
_"Oh, how I wish it were."_  
  
"Reasons?"  
  
_"Shall I list them?"_  
  
"Shoot."  
  
_"1: Fantasy entertains the idea of powers, and you bet your arse I'd make sure I'd have some."_  
  
"Only if I did as well. Or you would be required to teleport food to me when I’m hungry."  
  
_"Deal. 2: My name would finally make some sense if I was thought up by some creative type."_  
  
"Makes sense. Three?"  
  
_"3: I'd have a killer love interest."_  
  
"Killer as in..."  
  
_"Good. A solid love interest."_  
  
"What am I?"  
  
_"Hopefully not that."_  
  
"Hey!"  
  
_"Fine, fine. Are you inexplicably unique or attractive enough to carry my romantic story line."_  
  
"I'm football captain. AND I'm tan. AND I have abs during football season, which is now."  
  
_"Sold."_  
  
"I knew all that running would pay off."  
  
_"Okay, so since you're my love interest--"_  
  
"--in this hypothetical."  
  
_"Of course. Since you're my love interest in this hypothetical, 4: you would have to live closer because how terribly boring would all this be in a book."_  
  
"We're only, like, an hour apart."  
  
_"Yes, but we've only talked through texting and calling."_  
  
"True. Not very interesting I suppose."  
  
_"Poor saps reading that story. Hm, I think that's all my reasons."_  
  
"You convinced me. Hey, when's your winter holiday?"  
  
_"In a few weeks. I'm thrilled. Why?"_

“You haven’t mentioned it. And ditto, but without the completely sarcastic voice."  
  
_"Well, I'll just be stuck in the manor without a phone. With my parents."_  
  
"Read a book or something, nerd."  
  
_"How am I the nerd if you're the one suggesting it? But I am planning to."_  
  
"Did you say manor?"  
  
_"Oh... yeah. We call our house the manor. It's old as fuck."_  
  
"You guys are incredible. Groundskeepers? Maids? Butlers?"  
  
_"... Okay, yes we have house staff."_  
  
"Oh my god."  
  
_"It's great for hide and seek, though."_  
  
"I was imagining it very big if that's what you mean."  
  
_"It is. You sh--"_  
  
"... What?"  
  
_"No, sorry, I was going to say something a bit weird."_  
  
"Hm?"  
  
_"Maybe forward."_  
  
"What was it, I'm curious now."  
  
_"I was about to say you should see it, but then I realized we have never met and maybe inviting you to my house is a bit... odd?"_  
  
"It feels like we've known each other for a while. I wouldn't've found that weird."

_“Then, eventually, if you ever want, you should see it.”_

“Only for the hide and seek.”

_“Obviously, obviously. I just want someone to play childhood games with.”_

“I definitely want to visit.”

 _"I want to meet you."_  
  
"I want to meet you, too... even to just confirm you're paleness."  
  
_"You won't be disappointed."_  
  
"I'd invite you here, but I honestly haven't the slightest clue where you'd sleep. We're packed enough as it is."  
  
_"I'd clearly just cuddle with Ron."_  
  
"Ron and I are on bunk beds."  
  
_"Hm, I have to be on the bottom."_  
  
"Why?"  
  
_"Isn't it obvious? Because I'm a bottom in bed, Harry."_  
  
[CALL ENDED]  
  
_[CALLING HARRY]_  
  
_"I can't believe you just hung up on me!"_  
  
"I can't believe you just made that joke!"  
  
_"I'm a funny guy."_  
  
"You're getting the floor."  
  
_"Awwww. But bunk beds are so fun."_  
  
"The top's more fun, but Ron called it. He says he has dibs because it was ‘his house first.’"  
  
_"I'm too tall. Still wish I could sleep on top, though. Actually, I just want to have bunk beds."_  
  
"Not at 17."  
  
_"At least the bottom occupant doesn't have to climb up a ladder when drunk."_  
  
"Poor Ron."  
  
_"Good think we're bedmates!"_  
  
"Stop."  
  
_"We can have late-night gossip sessions about hotties."_  
  
"When aren't we talking about each other, though?"  
  
_"I like the way you think. Are you a cuddler?"_  
  
"Of course, but don't you dare try to be the big spoon."  
  
_"Don't worry, I'm not above trying to steal your body heat to get warm. Also, lots of blankets."_  
  
"I can have Molly tuck you in beforehand."  
  
_"I'll just be a pile of quilts."_  
  
"I don't think my bed's big enough. Watch me end up on the floor.”

_“Putting me first, such a gentleman.”_

“It’s okay, the couch is very comfortable. Probably from being in a house with seven kids constantly sitting on it. Or wrestling over it.”

_“Your exposition made couches sound very unappealing.”_

“Are you usually attracted to couches?”

_“Unappealing to sit on, arsehole.”_

“Of course.”

 _“They’re always attractive.”_  
  
“HAH, maybe I’ll let you sleep on the couch. You can snog it or something.”

_“I’m not sure, I have sensitive skin and somehow you describing all the butts that have sat upon it doesn’t make it seem spotlessly clean to where I’d like to rub my face all over it.”_

“If I make couches sound weird, you make snogging sound repulsive.”

_“If you think about it it’s pretty gross, actually, but a shit ton of fun besides. Definitely worth it.”_

“Can I tell you something without you making fun of me?”  
  
_“Depends on how funny it it.”_  
  
“Draco!”  
  
_“Alright, I promise.”_

“I have only kissed two girls.”

_“...Truly? Two?”_

“Yeah.”

_“That’s… Aren’t you the star football player? Which basically makes you the most popular guy in school. How?”_

“I don’t know. I used to be really awkward around girls I liked.”

_“Aww.”_

“Don’t ‘aww’ me.”

_“Who were the lucky ladies?”_

“Um, okay, so, I used to, uh, date Ginny.”

_“What!? Isn’t she practically your sister? Seems like everyone does love some almost incest.”_

“I don’t know… It was two years ago and I liked her.”

_“Aww.”_

“Stop ‘aww’-ing. Then we broke up--”

_“Who broke up with who?”_

“Does it matter? Okay, she broke up with me. We’re good, though.”

_“That’s good, you two are close, proximity-wise.”_

“Next room over, yep.”

_“Who else?”_

“What?”  
  
_“Two girls.”_

“Someone at a party. I was drunk and it was awful. That’s it.”

_“I’m not going to aww.”_

“Good.”

_“That’s fine, Harry.”_

“I know it’s fine, just a bit embarrassing. I assume you have a bit more experience.”

_“Well, yes. Mostly with Pansy.”_

“You two seem like you’d make a good couple.”  
  
_“Christ, we were never a couple. Just friends with, well, benefits.”_

“Oh, do you guys still…. y’know.”

_“No. No, we’re just friends, no benefits.”_

“Who ended it with who?”

_“Me with her. I’m still not really sure why, but she wasn’t too bitter about it. She always had backups.”_

“Oh, that’s… good.”

_“And Blaise has never kissed anyone, so don’t think you’re weird for it.”_

“I think compared to your best friend/sex partner thing having happened, my situation seems much more normal.”

_“You’re welcome.”_

“Wasn’t it ever awkward.”

_“No, I suppose Pansy and I are strange in that regard. It worked well.”_

“Was, um, was Pansy the only one you--Sorry, I’m prying.”

_“Fucked?”_

“I… Sorry, I didn’t mean to… yeah.”

_“No.”_

“Oh, I was just wondering if, because of you being bi, had to do stuff with guys to know."

_“I didn’t know until I met someone, but that’s only my case. Some bi people find out from a person, some just know.”_

“I always thought it was more that you just know, from when you’re a kid, or whenever.”

_"No, it isn't."_

"How'd you come to find out."

_"Like..."_

"Who was the lucky guy? Hmm?"

_"Oh, fuck off. Remember that school I said I could've gone to?"_

"That school Krum went to?"

_"Durmstrang, yeah that one. Well, they're kind of our sister school, along with this other one in France, so students can spend semesters abroad there, or vice versa."_

"You got it on with a Norwegian!?"

_"'Got it on,' christ, Harry."_

"Well, did you?"

_"Yes, yes. So that's how I knew."_

"Did he know before?"

_"He was gay, and yes."_

"Was it Viktor Krum? You can tell me, I can keep a secret."

_"You think Blaise could've kept his mouth shut the other night if Krum studied at Hogwarts?"_

"I s'ppose not. Damn, that would’ve made Ron jealous.”

_“... That he visited Hogwarts or that I shagged him?”_

“Both.”

_“Ron would shag Krum?”_

“Honestly, if offered, I think so.”

_“That’s amazing.”_

“Hermione’s cool with it. Everyone has at least one person they’d go for even if they’re not into that gender, y’know. Like, say Ryan Reynolds were to--huh?”

 _"What?"_  
  
"Sorry, that was Ginny, I've got to head."  
  
_“What about Ryan Reynolds?”_

“Nothing, talk to you later.”

_“Harry!”_

“Haha, talk to you later.”

_“Promise, Potter.”_

“Promise.”

 _“I’d also agree to shag Ryan Reynolds if he were to ask.”_  
  
“He is one sexy man.”  
  
_"I love how you whispered that so she wouldn't hear."_  
  
"My cred is very fragile."  
  
[CALL ENDED - 9:15]


	10. Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Key: Harry -  _Draco_

Wednesday PM

[11:58] _ You up? _

[12:01] Yeah  
[12:02] What's up?

[ _CALLING HARRY - 12:03 AM_ ]

_“Hey.”_

“Hey.”

_"What're you doing?”_

“Um, I just got dropped off at home by Dean, so I’m walking inside.”

_ “Stay outside.” _

“Why?”

_“I'm in the astronomy tower.”_

“You have an astronomy tower?”

_“Hogwarts is weird. C’mon, it’s not very cold.”_

“Fine, fine. Why are you up and outside?"

_“I’m not tired. And my mother said Draco is especially bright tonight.”_

“Draco?”

_“I’m named after a constellation.”_

“Oh! That makes tons more sense. I thought you were feeling rather smart today.”

_“Hah, no, not particularly.”_

“Where is it?”

_“Draco? Hm, can you see the big dipper?”_

“Uh… Oh, there! Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’ve found it.”

_“Ok, so it’s pretty big and right above that. It kind of looks like a backwards five, with the top end having  a trapezoidal shape on it.”_

“I think I see what you mean. Draco means dragon, right? If my year of Latin paid off.”

_“It does, very good Potter’s Latin professor.”_

“I’ll make sure to thank her. That's a pretty wonky-looking dragon.”

_“I’m a pretty wonky dragon, so it fits.”_

“I doubt I’d describe you as ‘wonky,’ but you know yourself better than I do. Unfortunately, you don't have the trapezoidal head.”

_“To everyone's dismay.”_

“That's a deal-breaker for me.”

_“I've heard that before, I understand. Though I feel as though it’d be hard to kiss a trapezoid. It’s either have to be point-on-point or plane-on-plane, and I don't think any of those seem particularly comfortable.”_

“You're just being close-minded. In fact, I’m reserving my third kiss person for someone with a trapezoid-head.”

_“My being named Draco must have really gotten your hopes up.”_

“You did let me down.”

_“I’m shocked you're still talking to me after my disappointing photo.”_

“I nearly vomited.”

_“I don't blame you.”_

“Haha.”

_“...”_

“... So…”

_“So?”_

“Tell me about your Scandi lover.”

_“Fuck off.”_

“No, really. I’m curious!”

_“Tell me about Ginny.”_

“Okay. We pet-flirted for what seemed like years. Then, last year, my team won championships, and everyone was celebrating, and I kissed her.”

_“How was it?”_

“Awkward. I realized a bit in that we were in front of a ton of people. She was a better kisser than me because she had dated Dean and everything.”

_“And then?”_

“We talked for a bit, dated for a month. I don't think we were a very good couple. She dumped me, and, well, that's about it. We're much better friends, I think, if I view it objectively.”

_“That still must have been odd. You are exes living in the same house.”_

“Not really. I mean, for a month or two it definitely was, but we both moved past it somehow. Now onto you.”

_“No, wait, what about your second kiss?”_

“I didn't say second kiss! I said second person I kissed. Ginny and I aren't prudes.”

_“Apologies. Second kissed person.”_

“A girl named Fleur at a party. I mean, I'm sure it was good. I just… I don't really do hookups. And that's all.”

_“You’re cute.”_

“Don’t be condescending.”

_“Sorry, you’re a slut.”_

“Thank you.”

_“...”_

“So--”

_“Shh.”_

“...Wh--”

_“Shh, look at the stars.”_

“I can look and talk. You just don't want to reciprocate past relationship history.”

_“I told you about Pansy.”_

“C’mon I don't wanna hear about Pansy, I kinda know her now so it seems weird. I don't want to think of you guys.. y’know.”

_“You are such a prude, Potter. Won't even say sex.”_

“I can say sex I just chose not to.”

_“Ok, fine. His name was Nils.”_

“Yes, go on.”

_“And he showed up and basically flirted his arse off with me. I eventually realized that I reciprocated his feelings, which was a shock to me but apparently not Pansy or Blaise. And so we got together and dated-without-the-label until he had to return to Norway… That's really all there was to it.”_

“What’s he look like?”

_“Tall, dark hair, I don't know, muscular. Attractive.”_

“Taller than you?!”

_“I’m only six foot, Harry. You're just a shrimp.”_

“I am not!”

_“You are and you know it.”_

“Fuck you.”

_“You wish.”_

“I do not.”

_“Shame… Hey you see that brighter star a bit off the left edge of Draco?”_

“I think so.”

_“That’s Narcissus; my mother was named after it.”_

“Your mom’s name’s Narcissus?”

_“Narcissa.”_

“Oh. That’s such an interesting family trait.”

_“We’re an interesting family, I’d say.”_

“What’s your mum like? Is she like your dad?”

_“...No...well, not exactly… she's old-fashioned and strict, but she at least seems to have some level of affection.”_

“...”

_“Harry?”_

“I--You deserve better parents.”

_“Oh. I mean, I’m used to mine. I love them. They're not the most sentimental, but they're family.”_

“Just because they're family doesn't mean they get to treat you like shit, though.”

_“They don't treat me like shit. They're cold, but they--”_

“Didn't they basically brainwash you into committing a crime?”

_“Well, it was me who chose to do it. You can’t blame them more than me.”_

“I do. You deserve better and I’m sorry.”

_ “Don’t be sorry. I’m fine. I can manage them. And I’ll be gone in a few months.” _

“I lived with my really awful aunt and uncle for a while, and it’s shit you shouldn't have to manage.”

_“I don't disagree, and I’m glad you have the Weaselys, but I really don’t mind it all that much. Blood over all else. We make it work. Don't worry about me, I’ve suffered with them thus far, and I may not be the best but I don't think I’ve turned out that awfully.”_

“I… Okay. You're right. You know your situation best. I didn’t mean to question your home life like that, I’m not sure what came over me.”

_“No, I appreciate your concern. It was… sweet.”_

“That sounds like a foreign concept to you.”

_“Not foreign but rare. My friends care, but they're not very vocal about it.”_

“I suppose Hermione and Ron are rubbing off on me.”

_“They seem incredible... That was so sappy, ignore that.”_

“They are, and I won't.”

_“...I think you're having a softening effect on me.”_

“Tonight?”

_“No, I suppose in general.”_

“Oh.”

_“Ever since we started talking, I’d imagine.”_

“Is that a good thing? I think it would be.”

_“Yes. Weird, definitely, but still okay. Still good.”_

“I think still good is the best we can hope for.”

_“Maybe. Maybe it's just the stars.”_

“Hah, influenced into softening by the stars and talking to some kid on the phone.”

_“I still feel soft, so watch it. It might just be the stars and not you.”_

“It's a hundred percent me and zero percent the stars. Stars are dumb, and I'm cool.”

_“Is that what you're asserting? You're better than stars?”_

“Absolutely.”

_“Considering that I’m named after stars, I’m taking offense. Though I do grant you a modicum of respect for your confidence.”_

“Confidence is key. Stars are dumb, so are you, and I'm the only cool one.”

_“I may be many things, Potter, but dumb isn't one of them.”_

“Now that’s just cocky.”

_“Confidence is key, Harry.”_

“Now you calling me Harry just sounds strange.”

_“A slip-up. Ignore it.”_

“Never. This is a step.”

_“A step?”_

“Yes. I’m slowly breaking you down into normal friendliness.”

_“It was a mere slip of the tongue. I’ve since completely forgotten your first name.”_

“Absolute lie. This is pure proof of my softening abilities.”

_“Maybe it's just the stars.”_

“Maybe it's not.”

_“You're ridiculous.”_

“You're going to call me Harry again.”

_“Don't be childish. What's to a name?”_

“A lot.”

_ “It won't happen again.” _

“Draco.”

_“What?”_

“Draco.”

_“Oh, don't be silly.”_

“Draco.”

_ “Potter.” _

“Draco.”

_“Fine. Harry.”_

“...”

_“Harry?”_

“Yes, sorry, here.”

_“Happy?”_

“Oddly enough, very. The happiest.”

_“I’m glad your first name brings you so much joy.”_

“I don't know why it is, but it is.”

_“I may be having a softening effect on you.”_

“I’ve always been a sap, don't let it get to your head.”

_“I won't. Thanks for stargazing with me, many miles away.”_

“To be honest, you're one of the very few people I’d lay on our lawn furniture table at midnight for.”

_“I'm glad. I wanted company.”_

“Thanks for choosing me to entertain you.”

_“Specifically yours.”_

“Oh.”

_ “...” _

“I’m sorry. I never know what to say when I talk to you.”

_“The effect is mutual.”_

“No, you seem to always have some witty response.”

_“Just practice. And trust me, you truly have tripped me up much more than anyone I’ve ever spoken to, so take that how you will.”_

“I’ll take it positively.”

_“Hm.”_

“As long as you agree to take all of my dumb pauses positively.”

_“Of course. The least I could do is return the favor.”_

“You said you weren't dumb, how can you have dumb pauses?”

_“Oh fine, my pregnant pauses.”_

“Never mind, just contradict yourself and say dumb.”

_“What, not a fan of the word ‘pregnant’ or something?”_

“Nope. All able teen males should have a strong fear of the word pregnant.”

_“Afraid of knocking girls up, are you? Makes sense, you really do seem to get around from what you’ve told me.”_

“Oh, shut up. Better to have a healthy fear of it than have it happen.”

_“You really are that nervous about being a teen dad even being single? That's hysterical.”_

“Aren't you?”

_“Oh, the perks of being mostly into guys.”_

“You still like girls, you've got the possibility. A Pansy/Draco child would be…. interesting I’m sure.”

_“It’d be an absolute devil. See, Potter, I’ve figured out a solution for your fear of pregnant girls.”_

“What?”

_“Limit yourself to all men and postmenopausal women.”_

“Thank you, Draco, so helpful.”

_“You've got more selection with my idea then sticking with only girls your age, you should be non-sarcastically thanking me.”_

“Perhaps I actually should. I have been, I dunno, mentally more open to the idea ever since meeting you.”

_“... To postmenopausal women?”_

“Clever.”

_“Sorry. Really? To men, I assume is what you mean.”_

“Yeah, well, I don't know… Hah, I don't know.”

_“You don't have to know.”_

“I feel like I should, though. I feel like I should've noticed, I guess, something before now.”

_“But if you're noticing it now instead of before, what does it matter?”_

“It’s weird. I’m not attracted to all guys.”

_“Are you attracted to all girls? That sounds tiring.”_

“Well, no, you've got me there. It's more like, if I liked someone, and they happened to be a guy, I feel like I could be okay with that. That I could do that.”

_“Harry?”_

“Yeah.”

_“That is how it is.”_

“You mean, like, for you?”

_“For everyone, really. The person comes first. Then the rest.”_

“Oh.”

_“So you liking the person, and then not caring if he’s a dude, that's really how it goes.”_

“I thought that would be abnormal.”

_“No. Perfectly normal. In fact, guys wanting to jump any male in their paths are the weirdos, not you.”_

“I guess I always imagined it as more sexually-charged.”

_“Only if you're a horny teenager. Which we are. So that would make sense if you did act that way, but it's actually much more mature the way you view it.”_

“Oh, uh, thanks. I’m not really handling it in any particular way.”

_“I know. You're doing surprisingly well, though, if that makes you any more comfortable.”_

“It's an adjustment.”

_“Not particularly. Not if you don't like anyone.”_

“Right, yeah.”

_“You're not really forced to do anything openly until you do.”_

“Right. I…”

_“... Yes?”_

“Thanks… for, well, everything. Talking about this stuff and all.”

_“Oh. Of course.”_

“You're … I’m just glad I met you.”

_“I’m glad I met you, too. Even if we haven't physically actually met.”_

“All in good time. Right?”

_“Right.”_

“And now I can pick you out in a crowd.”

_“You do have my profile shot. I better just keep my head turned slightly just in case we accidentally see each other.”_

“Oh, I realized you don't know what I look like. Is that weird? I could send you a picture. I look like an absolute dofus in every photo, but I’m sure I could find something.”

_“Though I’m oddly very confident you do not look like a dofus in your photos, I actually would prefer face-to-face. If that's not even weirder.”_

“No, no. That sounds good. Maybe your curiosity will encourage you to actually meet up one day.”

_“As if I would need that curiosity to want to meet you.”_

“I don't know. You could be just passing some time when you need someone to talk to while looking at stars.”

_“Harry, you really are quite dense.”_

“Just because you're not, hopefully, doesn't mean you couldn't be.”

_“Trust me, I’m not.”_

“Okay. I suppose I trust you.”

_“Good.”_

“How do you trust me?”

_“What? That you're not just bored and looking for someone to talk to?”_

“Yes.”

_“I think we've both put too much into this for it to be a ‘passing of the time’ thing. Unless you're about to admit that I mean absolutely nothing to you and hang up.”_

“That would make me perhaps the most terrible person ever.”

_“So that's not something I need to worry about?”_

“Definitely not.”

_“See, and it's not something you need to wonder about either.”_

“You make a convincing argument. I won't.”

_“Good. Another way I know not to worry about that is that it is fucking freezing out and yet you are sitting outside and looking at the stars because I asked. I doubt that's a casual activity to partake in for kicks.”_

“It is not that cold.”

_“I could hear your teeth chattering before.”_

“Lies.”

_“Of course.”_

“It is very cold.”

_“Yes. Want to go inside?”_

“I actually would rather keep talking, even if it is cold.”

_“I recommended going inside, not hanging up.”_

“Oh. Well, good. Yes.”

_“So we can both talk and be warm.”_

“That sounds perfect.”


	11. Presents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Key: Harry - Pansy

Friday PM

[9:32] Potter, what should I get Draco for his birthday? 

[9:42] Birthday?  
[9:42] When is it?

[9:45] Next weekend.

[9:46] What? He's never mentioned it.

[9:50] People usually don't mention their birthdays unless they're incredibly boring and have nothing else to talk about except upcoming events.

[9:52] Well, that's a stance to have on birthdays.

[9:55] Yes, it is.  
[9:56] What should I buy him?

[9:58] How should I know? You've known him for years.

[10:00] Yes, but you seem better at birthdays than even my experience with Draco could make me.

[10:01] What would ever give you that idea?  
[10:01] I have no clue what you should get him.    
[10:02] I don't know what I should get him. 

[10:06] Aw, you’re getting him a birthday present?

[10:09] Well, now that I know I feel like I should.  
[10:09] I’m gonna ask you the same question. 

[10:10] Do not ask me what to get Draco.

[10:10] What do I get Draco?

[10:11] I swear to god.

[10:12] I need help.

[10:13] I need help!

[10:14] You know him better.

[10:14] Yes, and I know he’s insatiable and picky to an extraordinary degree.  
[10:15] But he seems to like you.  
[10:16] And you're nicer and would know what would make him happy. 

[10:18] I doubt that.

[10:19] I don't. Think harder.

[10:20] I really don't know why you think pressuring me into thinking harder would help.

[10:21] Wait.  
[10:21] I know what you should get him. 

[10:23] Thank god.

[10:24] But as architect of your present this is also my present.

[10:24] Fine by me.


	12. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry - **Ron** \- **_Hermione_**

“What do you think he's gonna look like?”

“I don't know. Short. Draco said he had dark hair.”

Pansy rolled her eyes at the tall, well-dressed male next to her. “Blaise, could you try to be more creative.”

“Fine. He has a lazy eye, snaggletooth, and permanent facial scarring,” Blaise responded. She laughed, tucking her hands into her coat pockets. There were two inches of snow crunched under her boots already so early in the winter, and she had to shake her head every few minutes to keep the lightly falling snow from melting in her hair. 

“Could you imagine? I hope he's actually a fifty year old with a split personality that's half teen boy,” she replied with a grin. “Or, better yet, a youtuber holding a social experiment to test out catfishing.”

“You should be more optimistic about Draco potentially finding a significant other.”

“Tsk, I bet Harry’s not even gay. Don't get Draco’s hopes up.” She kicked the ground beneath her, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet. “He should be here.”

“You're so blatantly two-faced, Pansy. Clearly you think they'll work out.”

“Am not.” Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she pulled it out, annoyed to have to remove her hands from her warm coat. “Okay, he's walking here now from the parking lot. What about Draco?”

“He’ll be here ‘soon.’ Not an incredibly specific answer.”

“I bet a few minutes. This’ll work. I am the best friend ever.”

“Draco probably doesn't believe you are. You and I did ditch him for the majority of his birthday to set this up.”

“He had homework; he kept himself busy. He’ll appreciate it later.” Her phone buzzed again in her pocket. “That's presumably Harry. So he should be here somewhere. Looked for a confused-looking kid with black hair. Potentially a fifty year old. Potentially a skinny, pale dude with a webcam.”

She went to her toes to scan the crowd outside of the main square of Hogsmeade when Blaise said, “Found him.”

When she sighted their visitor, Pansy let out a bark of laughter. “Fucking Draco,” she said in a low tone to Blaise, shaking her head slightly in amazement before resting her face in a smirk to greet him. “Potter!”

Harry looked around twice before seeing the pair, spotting Pansy’s gaze between two passing bodies. He shuffled through the crowd to them, excusing his way over towards the two. His hands were shoved in his jean pockets, a homemade sweater showing in the opening of a thick black coat. Even though there was only a slight breeze in the hollow of the square, his hair was wild with shifting darkness. It occasionally grazed the top of his round glasses before settling somewhere else. He grinned somewhat sheepishly at them when he finally arrived. “Er, Pansy and Blaise? I'm assuming.”

“Spot on, Potter, good detective work,” Pansy replied. “Draco should be here soon-ish.” 

“Oh, okay, great.”

“You sound nervous.”

“What? Never. What exactly are we doing? You just said to come here.”

“You’ll see, later.” 

“Thank you for being so enlightening. I guess I have no choice but to trust you.”

“You trusted me enough to drive all the way to a school in the middle of Absolute-Wasteland-Nowhere, England, so I think you can do it a bit longer.”

“Hah, nothing really to lose at this point, I suppose. Oh, is there a toilet anywhere here?”

“Nope, just piss yourself. Hogwarts-style,” Pansy replied. 

“There’s one between the fountain and Ollivander’s,” Blaise responded at the same time. 

“Thanks.” Harry looked pointedly at Blaise before spinning on his heel, doing a quick search for the carpentry store, and heading off. 

Once he was out of sight, Pansy turned and smacked Blaise in the ribs, laughing. “I can't believe it. He’s fucking hot.”

-

When he went to use the sink, the main purpose of the toilet trip completed, he tried to use the water to push his hair down to a more stylized version of itself. As always, it returned to its natural state in an act of seeming protest and he found himself confused only at his behavior. What the fuck was he doing trying to tame him hair? The thought didn't stop him from giving himself a practice smile in the mirror, then two, and wiping a small smear off one lense of his glasses. He also found himself wishing he was wearing a less worn sweater, then apologized silently to Mrs. Weasley before dismissing the thought. She’d made this one without the large ‘H’ on the front and in a cream color that suited him, and it's threadbareness came from his continued wear and not her seamstress skills. 

He took a quick intake of breath about to leave the restroom when his phone let out the default ding to signal a text. 

[5:46] _**Are you ready?**_

[5:46]Yes.  
[5:47]Of course.  
[5:48]Why?

[5:48]  _ **It's a big day!**_

[5:49]I feel like my gift is terrible. 

[5:50] _ **It’s not! Plus you drove all that way so that’s a gift unto itself.**_

[5:50]Barely. I hope we get along, haha.

[5:51] _**You've talked to him more than me these past few weeks, you two will be fine.**_

[5:51] Not true, but I see your point.

[5:51] _**Good luck! Have fun!!**_

Another text came through.

[5:53] **Knock ‘im dead, Harry.**

[5:53]Hopefully I won't kill him but message received. 

He turned his phone to silent, flicked a piece of hair backwards, then forwards, then exited the restroom. 

-

Draco huffed at the delay on his walk. A car had skidded into a mailbox, so foot traffic was diverted to a lesser used side road that’s street had yet to be cleared of snow. Consequently, his snow boots were no longer dry--still fulfilling their duty at protecting his feet but looking less than delightful in doing so--and the walk was near fifteen minutes longer to Hosmeade. 

He was grateful he had remembered the boots. Studying all day, not normally a birthday activity, tended to move his mind away from practicality. He also had his hat, and scarf, and gloves. Pansy consistently told him it caused him to look like an Eskimo, but, so be it, he was warm. She had no room to speak that day in any case, she can comment on his clothing choices if she cared to see him before dinner. Not that he took it to heart too much, it had allowed him to get ahead in his classes.

He found his friends quite quickly in the crowd; a tall black guy and a very short girl with a sleek black bob are a bit hard to miss. 

“Pansy, you look cold,” he commented. She rolled her eyes. 

“Never, Draco, so long as you're not a wimp.”

“Is that not the meaning of your name?”

“Fuck off. Oh, and happy birthday! One year closer to making all your own decisions without help.”

“I look forward to digging my own grave. Hey, Blaise.”

“Happy birthday. Sorry we’ve not seen you,” Blaise responded. 

“It's fine.” He stepped away from them, starting to peel off his gloves. “I'll be back.” 

His real fur gloves, while warm, tended to leave tiny hairs on his palms. While barely noticeable, he’d rather wash his hands instead of accidentally consume them when they ate. 

“Where are you going?” Pansy stepped to close the small amount of distance he had taken. 

“To wash my hands,” he replied, pausing. “Is that okay, mother?”

“We have reservations,” she said tersely, pulling his arm to drag him back towards where they were standing. 

“And yet I’m sure they won't give our table away if we're five minutes late, Pansy. After all, Father does know the owners. Actually, Father owns the owners. What's up with you today?”

“Nothing, nothing. Do as you wish.” As he turned, he saw her turn to Blaise, who shrugged. 

Draco walked towards the bathroom, head down while taking off his gloves. He had realized years ago that if you give off the impression that you won't move for passerbys the other way, almost all clear a path for you. This had worked near perfectly for many years, but there is always the chance you run across someone particularly oblivious, and today continued to be Draco's unlucky day as he ran directly into a kid who had just exited the toilet and hadn't seen him in time. 

Draco looked up, slightly stunned at the collision, before moving to go around this new obstacle. “Pardon me,” he said to the guy as he began to walk on. 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” his collider said as they made eye contact before Draco passed him. 

Draco finished pulling off his second glove when he was stopped by his own name. 

“Draco?” It had come from behind him. Presumably from the person he just crashed into. Who’s voice was all too familiar. He froze. Then he turned. 

Harry was grinning, maybe because he had just seen someone's he's been talking with for weeks for the first time, maybe because of Draco’s stunned speechless facial expression. Harry raised his shoulders into a tiny shrug with a laugh. 

“Happy birthday.”


	13. Sweets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Key: _Draco_ \-  Pansy

“Harry?”

“Yes.”

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“What are you--”

“Pansy.”

“Oh.”

“And it's your birthday.”

“Oh. Yes.”

“Happy birthday.”

“Thanks. You said that already.”

“Yeah, but I figure there's no cap on the amount of times I can say it.”

“I suppose not.”

“Happy birthday.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“But I just got here.”

And then Draco smiled. As did Harry.

“You drove here?” Draco asked. He wished desperately he weren't wearing all the seemingly ridiculous warm layers. Especially the hat. He swore it was making his face too warm and his cheeks pink, but his body seemed paralyzed so he hadn’t the ability to rip it off. Harry found himself even more concerned by his own clothing when he had looked at Draco, who was donning more formal wear, and hoped it was coincidence and that Pansy had not told him to dress up for the evening. He kept his hands firmly in his pockets to stop himself from tugging at the fraying bottom of his sweater.

“It really wasn't that far. And we obviously needed to celebrate the special occasion.”

“My birthday does come every year, it isn’t that tremendously special.”

“Oh, well, in that case I guess I better just head home…” Harry trailed off, his sarcasm betrayed by a small smile.

“I think we can still make a night of it. Since you did drive all this way.”

Harry laughed. “Thanks, that's very kind of you. Though I actually don't know exactly what Pansy has planned.”

“Oh, so this was Pansy’s idea? She has been acting strange.” Draco looked past the top of Harry's head to see his two friends. Blaise was looking down at what was probably his phone and Pansy was hanging off his shoulder to use him as a balance as she peered at them on her tiptoes. She blew him a kiss.

“Hey, my eyes are--” Harry began.

“--down there,” Draco finished with a smirk. “You are short.” Harry wasn't actually that short, only smaller than Draco by a few inches, but his look of offense made the comment worth it.

“I’m barely shorter than you,” he replied, straightening his back. “I just slouch more because I didn't grow up balancing books on my head to fix my posture, or whatever you must've done.”

“I grew up old-fashioned, but not like a princess.”

“I don't believe that at all.”

“I’m glad I convinced you I’m royalty.”

Harry laughed. It was bright and happy, and, while his own comment made Draco smirk, the laugh brought out a real smile untarnished by secondhand humor or cynicism. His face felt almost uncomfortable forming it. It was a nice change, he supposed.

“Oh, I think your friends are waiting for us.” Harry looked around. Draco, who had already found them in the crowd, started towards them, turning Harry around with a guided elbow touch.

“This way.”

It seemed Harry had a different, more inefficient way of traveling through a bustle of people as he dodged and apologized while being led by Draco. Once they came to Pansy and Blaise, Harry shook his head in disbelief.

“Is that how you cross the road as well?” he asked.

“Pedestrians do always have the right of way,” Draco replied without a beat.

“Unbelievable,” Harry said, before Pansy cut off their conversation.

“Big day, boys! Are you ready?” she asked them.

“If you planned it, definitely not,” Draco answered.

“I, for one, am excited,” Harry commented.

Pansy elbowed Draco lightly. “Why can’t you be more like him?”

Draco turned to Harry and replied, “I definitely don’t have it in me to be that nice.” Harry smiled at him and Draco’s lips curled before he broke their eye contact. His gaze instead went to Pansy as she moved away from them, beckoning them to follow her. And so they did.

Harry’s gaze kept flickering to the tall blonde boy walking beside him. He hoped it wasn’t noticeable, but, although he tried, it seemed impossible for his eyes to stop. He purposefully directed his eyes to concentrate heavily on the bouncing of Pansy’s bob as she led them. This worked well until his arm was tapped by Draco’s hand.

“Thoughts on Hogsmeade?” he asked, icy blue eyes looking into Harry’s green ones. They were the kind of eyes that seemed to have already read your whole life in your face the moment they locked on you.

“Pretty. Snowy. Quite cold, actually,” he responded. His teeth chattered slightly to make his point.

“Oh.” Draco’s eyes flickered upwards. Harry assumed he was looking at the sky until his pale hand pulled the hat off his head. Hair so blonde it made the snow settling on it jealous fell forwards onto his forehead before he pushed it back into place. “Here, you can take my ridiculous hat,” he said, grinning.

Placing the furry cap on Harry’s head, Draco was happy the silly thing was off his own. Harry managed to pull it off decently well. Harry laughed. “Won’t you be cold?”

“No, I’m fairly warm now.”

“Then, thank you. You haven’t a clue where we’re headed?”

“None. I’m as lost as you currently.”

“Must be new to you.”

“Not at all when I’m with Pansy. Wait, shit, where is she?” In their conversation, they had lost the short girl leading them. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he sighed when he saw who it was from. “Fucking hell.”

[7:30] Three Broomsticks then Honeydukes then Hogwarts kitchen. Money in your jacket pocket as well as a map to get you back to Hogwarts quicker. Have fun and wear protection!

[7:30] _You’re ridiculous._  
[7:30] _Thank you, Pansy._

[7:31] I live to serve, Mr. Malfoy.

“Intentional disappearance. We’re going this way.” Draco went towards the wood-decorated pub. It was bright and busy and a staple of Hosmeade, most likely the reason Pansy chose for them to go there. They picked a table closer to the back, sliding into their seats.

Draco opened his mouth to speak, then gave a small laugh as he looked down before starting, “Sorry, I’m still processing that you’re here.”

“It wasn’t a terribly far drive.”

“It felt like a different planet. Actually, I’m more shocked you seem to be exactly how you described yourself. I expected at the very least a bit of a catfish.”

“I’m offended you think I’m a liar.”

“Not a liar, just exaggerated. You are short with scruffy hair. Didn’t expect the glasses though, or the scar.”

“That doesn’t make me a catfish, though. Never said I didn’t have either of those. Also I’m not short.”

“You are short. And yes, I suppose you never denied them. What’s the badass scar from?”

“Oh,” Harry touched his forehead, “it’s actually from the accident my parents died in.” Draco’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth quickly to reply, but was cut off by Harry. “And before you apologize, you didn’t know and I’m sure you wouldn’t have brought it up had you known.” His smile was soft.

“I’m still sorry.”

“Me too.”

“How old were you?”

“A little over a year old.”

“Gods, Harry.”

“Hey, I want to talk to you about this, but right now it’s your birthday, and I’m finally in the same room as you, and how about we just order some good food and avoid the more depressing part of my life, hm? What’s good here?” Harry picked up a menu from the table and eyed it. Draco smiled and breathed a small sigh of relief.

“Butterbeer, definitely.”

“I don’t have a fake ID. Also, the fuck is butterbeer?”

“Non-alcoholic and sweet. I can’t do it justice with words, so you’re just going to have to trust me. In fact,” Draco pulled the menu from Harry’s hands and closed it, then casually held them up to call over a waiter.

Harry shrugged with a smile. “You better not order me something awful.”

“I am trying to make a decent first impression.” The server noticed them in the corner and came over to them with a jolly smile. Draco ordered them the Great Feast, a platter with miscellaneous Three Broomsticks specialties, two butterbeers, and chocolate trifles. Harry leaned his chin on his hands when the server left to fetch their food.

“Is this how you treat all your dates?” Harry grinned as he spoke.

“No, you’re assuredly special,” he responded, thanking the waitress for the two butterbeers that were promptly delivered to them. After the pause, Draco continued, “this because we are on Pansy’s dime, of course.”

“Yes, yes, of course.” Harry laughed and Draco was sure that a happier sound didn’t exist.

-

The dinner was one of smiles and sarcasm. Harry was told of more anecdotes from Draco’s upbringing, usually both odd and amusing. Harry discussed his life with the Weasley family and the pains and fun of such a bustling home. The food was delicious, and by the end they had drank two butterbeers each and was down to the last of the chocolate trifles.

“You have the last one, I insist,” said Draco.

“You’re offering because you’re too full to eat it. I know your game.”

“Untrue. They’re delicious and I would love to have it, but I’m too polite to my dates.”

“If you won’t admit you’re too full, then I will. I can’t eat it.”

“But it’ll ruin my boyish, slim figure, and you have to bulk up for football.”

“I do not, and a trifle won’t make you gain ten pounds,” Harry laughed. He picked up his knife and cut it in half. “Fair is fair.”

“Fine.” Draco picked up his and chewed it slowly, trying to savor it while also imagining how he had fit all that in his stomach. He closed his eyes for a moment. “Food coma.”

“Agreed. Very much agreed.” Harry patted his stomach.

“Well, make room for more. Next stop also involves food. I think Pansy assumed you were fat.” Draco quickly paid for their food and then motioned at Harry. “Follow me.”

When they exited The Three Broomsticks, the temperature had dropped and they could see their breath in the night air. Harry noted how much paler Draco looked in the moonlight, almost strangely like a vampire, with his sharp facial features, ivory skin, and dark clothing.

Draco’s teeth chattered dramatically before he said, “It’s just around the corner.” Turning the bend was Honeydukes, and one could feel the heat emitted just from looking at it. Draco watched as Harry’s mouth fell wide as they approached. The windows were bright blue lined and all the signs neon pink. Bubbly script was written all over the billboards posted outside. Warm, yellow light spilled from windows decorated with paintings of snowflakes. As they entered, a jolly bell sang of their arrival and a worker dressed in every color you could imagine directed them to their “newest creation” section and then to the “classics’ corner.”

“What should I get?” Harry asked.

“Anything. There’s no going wrong in Honeydukes.”

And with that they spun through the store. Draco held a bag and Harry took to trying to toss sweets in from farther and farther away, only stopping when he attempted to lob a chocolate from the second floor balcony into the small candies bag only to have it fall unceremoniously into the caramel pot. It seemed a manager was about to say something quite rude until he saw the bulging bag of expensive treats in Draco’s hands and instead gave a tight smile.

Draco picked up a few chocolate frogs for himself along with singing toffees and blast-ended jellies. Harry picked up one of everything that intrigued him after being given the go-ahead by Draco. When they went to check out, Harry’s eyes bulged at the final price and he went to put some sweets back, only to be stopped by a laughing Draco who took them from his hands and laid them back on the counter. Pulling out the folded money, Harry realized they definitely had enough.

“Seems she assumed we’d be even bigger eaters than we are. In fact, she may be disappointed,” Draco said, taking money from the wad to pay with and tucking the rest into his pocket. Leaving Honeydukes, Draco took out the piece of paper Pansy had also slipped into his jacket pocket while Harry held the sweets bag, peeking into it every so often.

“So it should be… hm… Oh, it’s over there,” Draco pointed a hand to the far bushes on the other side of the square, which separated a small bookstore and the Hog’s Head Inn. “What a strange little map this is.”

“Hm?” said Harry, questioningly.

“Look, it’s passages to and around Hogwarts. I never knew she had this. Wait, which way’s north?” Draco spun around and tried to find a marker to place his location on the map.

“Let me see it.” Harry reached out to grab the map to look and his hand touched Draco’s. “Bloody hell, your hands are freezing.” He wrapped his hand more around Draco’s and felt the smoothest skin he’d ever touched. Harry laughed and gently tugged the map away from the pale hands that clutched it. “Put your icicles in your pockets.” Draco shoved his hands in his coat, ignoring the feeling of the gloves in his pockets. He found himself a bit self-conscious about how absolutely posh he now realized they looked.

Holding up the map, Harry figured out where they were and led Draco to a small doorway near the shrubbery. “This seems to be the place.” He went to knock, but Draco snuck a hand past him and opened the door. It swung inwards to reveal a staircase descending a floor downwards, and then darkness.

Draco gave out a white puff when he let out a short laugh, so close Harry could feel his breath on his cheek. “After you,” the taller boy said. Harry grabbed his phone and went to turn on his flashlight when Draco cleared his throat and pointed at something hanging on the wall. “Actually, maybe I’ll lead.”

Draco slipped past Harry, grabbed a match from the matchbox, and lit the lantern hanging from the wall. Picking it up by the handle, he raised it above his head and began walking. A few steps down he turned back to see Harry still at the door entrance, his mouth slightly agape. Draco arched an eyebrow.

“Scared, Potter?”

“You wish.”

And with that, Harry walked down the stairs to join Draco and they continued into the darkness of the tunnel. Harry skimmed his fingers against the wall as they journeyed onwards and so was the first to notice the change of the clay walls to stone. He mentioned this to Draco.

“I suppose we’ve almost arrived.” The moment the blonde finished his sentence, the tunnel curved to reveal a staircase upwards. Upon reaching the top, Draco put his hand on the rusted door handle at the top. He blew out the flame they had travelled by, hung the lantern on a hook identical to the one posted on the other end of the tunnel, and swung open the door.

-

They walked into a brightly lit hallway. The door swung shut behind them, but the other side of it was metal and well kept and had a flimsy sign reading “Basement - Old Filing Cabinets” on it.

“No wonder no one knows where that door leads,” Draco commented, pacing forward and around the corner at the end of the hallway. They were suddenly in the middle of a kitchen. Though it was not a small kitchen at all, it seemed instead to be the Hogwarts kitchen, large and unending and  occupied.

A rather squat woman had her back to the boys. Her hair was tied in a bun and held back with a hairnet, her clothes telling of her profession as a cook. She turned to their footsteps.

“Well, look who decided to arrive! I was just about to leave! Tell that rude friend of yours she said you’d be here two hours ago and that I expect her to return with a tad more compensation for my trouble! And how did you two get in here?”

Harry was about to point to the hallway that led to the tunnel, but Draco replied, “Through the great hall.”

“Phooey! That door's locked.”

“Whoever locks it must have forgot.”

“That would be me, young man.” Her voice was very high-pitched and stern, an assuredly strange combination. “Anyways, I’m tired, so here.” She tossed a bag at Draco and then another at Harry. The blonde looked down to see flour and the brunette to see sugar. Soon more items were stacked in their hands until they were filled to the point of toppling. Finally, the cook held a notecard with writing on it, inspected them to try to find a spot to stick it where they wouldn’t drop it, and decided to let Harry hold it with his teeth. “Now follow me.”

They complied and walked with loaded arms through the maze of a kitchen. She eventually pushed open a door that led to a much more quaint, homely kitchen. “Cooks come in at 5am, so be sure to be gone by then. And remember to tell your friend what I said before!” And with a bang of the door, she was gone.

Draco unpiled his arms on the counter, then went over to Harry. The boy had his eyes crossed trying to read the notecard he had clenched in his teeth. Draco plucked the paper from his mouth and Harry grinned. “We’re baking a cake.”

-

Draco leant over the batter and said, “Satisfactory.” Harry crossed the small kitchen to the bowl. Moving next to Draco, he leaned onto his elbows and sniffed the air above the batter.

“We’re master chefs,” he claimed.

“Master bakers,” Draco corrected.

“Shut up, I was close enough,” Harry said, grinning up at Draco, whose expression changed when their eyes met. “What?”

The “What” wasn't answered. Draco was moving towards Harry. He knew consciously that he was doing it, but couldn't seem to think or reconsider or stop. Draco would swear he wasn't alone in the slow closing of the inches between them before there was a loud beeping from behind them. They froze.

“Oh, oven’s preheated,” Harry said before standing up straight, moving away, and breaking eye contact. He then turning to grab the oven mitts. Draco swallowed, hard. Harry ran a hand through his hair before slipping on the mitts and sliding the cake into the oven. He spun to face Draco.

“Were you..” he paused, eyebrows a bit furrowed before he took a breath, “I mean, we should start cleaning, while it’s baking.”

“Oh, sure,” Draco breathed. “Right.”

“As long as you promise to be better at cleaning than baking.” And with that Harry’s smile returned and his green eyes glinted in the overhead lights of the kitchen.

“Much better, in fact,” Draco lied, before he leaned over and plucked a small amount of flour from the bag and shot it towards Harry, the white powder falling gently to the ground before it hit him.

Harry mock gasped and followed suit, grabbing his own bit of flour. Yet this time the flour landed directly in the middle of Draco’s nice black shirt. “Oh, I didn't mean to actually hit you.”

“A football player with poor aim?” Draco grinned. He hopped onto the low counter behind him, holding his shirt so he could look at the bright white contrast of the flour. He looked around for a fix and ripped a paper towel from the roll. Folding it once, he began scrubbing the spot with the dry paper.

“Wait, stop!” Harry grabbed Draco’s hand as it sawed against the nice shirt. “Are you daft or have you really never had to get flour out of clothing?”

“The latter,” Draco admitted, keeping his hand as still as possible to not jostle Harry’s warm fingers around his palm.

“You’re incredible,” Harry said with exasperation.

“Thank you,” Draco responded.

“I said that with exasperation,” Harry said.

“I know,” Draco responded.

Harry shook his head, lips pulled back into a smile. He glanced down at his hand on Draco’s.

“Oh,” he said, pulling his hand away with the paper towel rasping out of Draco’s hand. He flicked on the faucet and dipped the towel through the cascading water. “You just need to wet it.”

“That's ridiculous,” Draco responded, but watched Harry intently as he approached with the wet towel. Harry moved towards him and reached out with two fingers to hook between two shirt buttons, pulling the area of the stain taut.

Draco couldn't quite breathe. He was frozen with his eyes pointed downward and he felt like his skin was too hot and his cologne had worn off and his heart was beating so hard Harry could certainly hear it. In moving to clean Draco’s shirt, he had moved Draco’s legs apart and was now settled between them. They weren’t touching, but the closeness of the situation had Draco’s full attention.

The rest happened fast. Harry stepped in closer, Draco’s thighs now touching his hips. Draco felt himself finally ready to tell his brain to piss off as he closed his hand on the neckline of Harry's sweater and pulled, leaning inwards. Harry looked up, confused. He inhaled slightly when his eyes met Draco’s, and he felt something in his chest shift and crave. 

Draco moved his nose against the side of Harry’s, asking for permission with the pause. Then Harry closed the distance and their lips met, the kiss slow and long, soft and gentle. Draco prepared himself mentally for Harry pulling back. Instead, Harry dropped the wet towel on the counter and settled his hands firmly on Draco’s hips, fingertips touching the soft, pale skin above his jeans. Draco responded by deepening the kiss, running his tongue gently along Harry’s bottom lip. Harry yielded and opened his mouth, spinning his tongue around Draco’s. Draco wanted to rake his hands through Harry’s hair and down his chest and under his blasted soft sweater, but he held himself back, not quite wanting to push what was happening.

Harry himself was dizzy from the kiss. It happened so quickly he had no time to think. He could really only concentrate on the person he was kissing: his hips, his tongue, his hands. It was one thing to admire Draco, but it was another thing altogether to be able to feel him, the lithness of his body and the softness of his lips. Draco was the one who broke the kiss; he detached from the standing boy’s lips and opened his eyes slowly, waiting. They breathed together for a moment before Harry opened his eyes. 

“It’s alright if you don’t reciprocate my feelings,” Draco found himself saying. “We don't have to--”

He was cut off by Harry’s laugh. The boy pulled the blonde closer to him on the table to where Draco’s legs straddled his torso. “You are so daft sometimes,” he said with a grin. And with he tilted his head upwards in invitation.

Draco smiled and put his hands in the wild dark hair that was just asking to be messed up, pulling them together once more.

They only came apart when the smell in the kitchen was one of definitely burning cake.


End file.
